The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
Families’ dynamics and nurturing
habit
mostly impact how their kids behave in response to living independently. I strongly believe that Fix the agreement mistake
habits
people
who come from a high-standard lifestyle and whose parents have a tendency to spoil them usually not
have survival skills. Add a missing verb
do not
However
, there are also
several factors which make those people
become an outlier and are able to build their lives by themselves without help from their family in this
case—specifically due to
their household dynamics.
To begin
, parenting styles are becoming a prominent factor that should be considered in order to analyze people
’s behaviour, specifically in their transformation stage from teenager to early adult. It is a fact that the early adulting phase is the critical stage for everyone in terms of responsibilities. Having their first job, living paycheck to paycheck, deciding whether they should pursue a higher degree or create a new business—these are common things in a young adult’s life
. In 2019, a group of psychologists at the University of Indonesia conducted research regarding the correlation between parenting mode, household income, and mental health conditions. The result showed that most people
who come from the upper economic class and are always provided with conveniences by their parents are lacking in survival skills. Most of them experienced burnout after graduation, specifically when they needed to search for a new job. They did not know how to navigate their lives without the guidance and privileges facilitated by their family.
However
, there are also
several conditions where luxuries and conveniences are helping people
to survive and have a good sense of survival in life
. For instance
, in a Chinese family household, their parents usually teach them how to manage a business and generate money at a very young age. Most of them have the privilege of having first-hand experience from their family businesses. Therefore
, they are influenced by a strong principle that to gain a better quality of life
, they need to work hard. Thus
, this
golden experience has developed them to be strong and independent adults in the near future. However
, this
is an outlier case and mostly has a strong link with culture and parenting style. In many cases, high-income status families mostly
have a tendency to shower their kids with privileges and leave them innocent about how difficult Rephrase
apply
life
is.
In conclusion, I believe that privileges and conveniences are becoming a cogent reason for people
lacking survival skills–specifically when entering the early adulthood phase. However
, it should be highlighted that it is not the single reason. Parenting technique
play a vital role in how Fix the agreement mistake
techniques
people
can have a strong character in surviving.Submitted by floriehendr on
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task response
Ensure all parts of the prompt are fully addressed in the essay, and provide a more balanced consideration of both sides of the argument. Use clear topic sentences and supporting details in each body paragraph.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, but more attention could be given to the development of ideas within paragraphs and the relationships between them. Consider using transition signals to guide the reader through the argument.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary by using more diverse and precise terms. Also, pay attention to collocations and word choices that accurately convey the intended meaning.
grammatical range
Increase the variety of complex structures, including a range of tenses, clauses, and sentence structures. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use more sophisticated grammatical constructions.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.