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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In recent years the family structures have changed as well as the family roles. What are the changes that are occouring. What do you think can be done to mend it?

#years #structures #roles #changes
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Family is the backbone for every individual to learn etiquette and helps in shaping personality for a better future. In the past few decades, it has been observed that family patterns and roles have transformed
due to
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 the modernization of humanity. In
this
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 essay, I will be discussing the ways in which family structures and roles have been changing. I will
also
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 shed light on the ways which can be used to mend the situation.
Firstly
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,
due to
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 the rise in the cost of living and inflation, some of the major world economies have seen a change in family roles where both husband and wife have to work to make ends meet and provide for their household, which was not the case a few decades back where one person's earning was sufficient to take care of all household errands. The downside of
this
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 is neither of the parents gets to spend enough time with their offspring, which
otherwise
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 would have helped to carve a better future for their children.
Secondly
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, if we look a few years back we will find that human association was a male-dominated civilization , especially in third-world countries like India and China.
On the other hand
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, where women were the caretakers of the household.
Due to
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 the rise in literacy rates women nowadays are empowered and aware of their rights which adds up to the change in family structure and role as both males and females are busy pursuing their careers
due to
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 which a lack of motivation in family planning has been seen.
As a result
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, some countries are witnessing a decline in population. The government should find ways to motivate its citizens to procreate. the government should build policies
such
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 as free education for the first offspring till the point of achieving a master's degree in any field and free healthcare including dental and eye care for the first offspring. It is important to put into effect the solutions that we discussed as it will carve a better human culture and will help maintain a balance in the population.
Submitted by ishpreet2299 on

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task response
Ensure that all the points are addressed in detail and provide clear explanations to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure and progression of ideas is generally good but make sure to use transition words and phrases to improve coherence. Additionally, consider linking ideas between sentences and paragraphs to enhance cohesion.
lexical resource
Vary your vocabulary and use more sophisticated and precise terms to express your ideas. Additionally, demonstrate a range of vocabulary related to the topic.
grammatical range
Your use of grammar is generally accurate, but aim for more complexity in sentence structures and demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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