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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

With a growing population, many people believe that we should focus on producing more GM foods. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?

#population #people #focus #gm #foods
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Nowadays, it can be seen an upward trend in considerably increasing population all over the world. In
this
Linking Words
 case, some groups of
people
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 believe in a phenomenon that
people
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 should pay more attention to developing genetically modified
goods
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. The
items
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 can present affordable prices for citizens.
However
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, they can cause
health
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problems
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.
Firstly
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, let us take a look at the beneficial impacts that can be caused by genetically modified
foods
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. The
goods
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 have fixed prices which are opening possibilities for a wide audience of customers to avoid hunger
problems
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. The main reason for low prices is that factories use similar and cheaper raw materials compared to organic
foods
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, which are taken in the manufacturing process.
Also
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, the
items
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 require less control by employees, investments by factories and time to create them. In
this
Linking Words
 case,
people
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 can save
stable
Correct article usage
a stable
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 quality of life when they can afford to buy numerous
foods
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, which have a constant cheap
price
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.
For example
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, the majority of groceries present organic and genetically modified
foods
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. If the consumer does not have certain money resources, it will be possible to buy the same
goods
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 for a cheaper
price
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 with a similar smell and taste compared to natural-made
items
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.
Also
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, if the citizens are able to buy numerous
goods
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, it will be possible to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 daily needs and reduce economic
problems
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.
On the other hand
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, genetically modified
items
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 can cause numerous diseases and illnesses. Mostly, the products contain preservatives and nutritions which are making the
goods
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 the same as natural-made
foods
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 and opening opportunities for manufacturing new food species.
However
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, the majority of them have negative impacts on consumer’s
health
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 conditions. It is noticeable that when
people
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 have the habit of buying only genetically modified
foods
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, they pay attention to cheaper
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price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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 and the same characteristics which are included in organic
items
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. After a certain period of time, they observe some
problems
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 with their
health
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 and try to solve them by medical care.
However
Linking Words
, most of them have chronic diseases like cancer which are not able to cure. In conclusion, genetically modified
foods
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 are developing among the population, because the
items
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 have more cheaper
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price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 than natural-made products. It can be affected by remaining stable the quality of life in an economical way.
However
Linking Words
, genetically modified products can cause dangerous diseases, which will affect
on
Change preposition
apply
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health
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 conditions in general among consumers.
Submitted by fedorusa2016 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay has some structural issues. The arguments are not thoroughly developed, which affects the overall coherence and cohesion. The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement. The conclusion seems rushed and does not effectively summarize the main points.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task, but the arguments lack depth and development. More specific examples and detailed explanations are needed to fully address the advantages and disadvantages of producing GM foods.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of lexical resource. However, there is room for improvement in using more varied vocabulary and collocations to express ideas more precisely.
grammatical range
The essay exhibits noticeable grammatical range and control. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing, wordiness, and inconsistencies in verb tenses. Focus on maintaining consistency and clarity in sentence structures and expressions.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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