IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world. How important is it for children to learn to understand and appreciate nature? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#pace #life #children #time #indoors #exposure #world #nature
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the contemporary era, many parents tend to protect their
children
 by not allowing them to have outdoor activities;
therefore
, many offspring are not interested in discovering
nature
 at their age.
However
, having knowledge about the environment is essential for
children
 since they can learn to socialize and be creative. In
this
 hectic life, many parents use the advancement of technology as a shortcut to give pleasure to their
children
 at home
while
 they work.
Hence
,
children
 have no chance to explore
nature
 and to meet new friends as well. In my point of view, by giving permission for outdoor activities, like camping, offspring can gain awareness of the environment and interact with friends as well. Increasing
children
's knowledge related to
nature
 can obtain their concern to protect
nature
 as a part of the way of appreciating
this
 universe. Another thing to consider is school, as a place where offspring spend most of their time, to create learning activities that become intriguing by utilizing
nature
 as material and media in the teaching process.
This
nature
-based learning method could be more enjoyable in the class and
also
 promote character-building values for students.
Consequently
,
children
 would be creative in the way they study and the material would be easier for them to understand.
For instance
, teachers use dry twigs to teach about counting in mathematics or flowers to introduce natural science.
This
 approach
also
 allows sophomores to feel it straight away. In conclusion, it is significant for adults and schools to accompany offspring in their learning process about
nature
. Other than that, the limited time spent using gadgets for
children
 is
also
 important.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main argument effectively.
task achievement
Pay attention to providing a thorough explanation of your ideas and their relevance to the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: