Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free timeDiscuss both views and state your opinion.s
people
advocates
that a person should have upstands , funds and less free Change the verb form
advocate
time
, other thinks opposed.in
my Capitalize word
In
opinions
, having enough wealth and spending quality Fix the agreement mistake
opinion
time
loved
ones is worth it. Change preposition
with loved
This
essay will discuss both views and will also
Elaborate on my view in the forthcoming paragraphs.
Undeniably, having more money
means increased financial security's
, Change noun form
security
the
ability Correct word choice
and the
of affords
quality healthcare, education, and housing; but there Change preposition
to afford
have
some disadvantages too, with less free Verb problem
are
time
, an individual might experience higher
level of stress, and have limited opportunities for Add an article
a higher
relaxations
and hobbies , might have lead to illness. To illustrate , let us imagine that a person who works Fix the agreement mistake
relaxation
Correct article usage
a thirds
thirds
proportion of Fix the agreement mistake
third
a
day, Correct article usage
the
he
might have Correct pronoun usage
apply
a
Correct article usage
apply
few times
to take care Fix the agreement mistake
little time
himself
or his family; after a Change preposition
of himself
while
those people will get tired,
Correct word choice
and, as
as a consequence
, suffering
many Wrong verb form
suffer
of
diseases.Change preposition
apply
in
my own, I think health is the of all happiness,if I am not physically or mentally fit, I will not be able to enjoy anything, even if I have A lot of Capitalize word
In
money
. -
On the other hand
, earns
A medium proportion of Wrong verb form
earning
money
for lives
and Fix the agreement mistake
life
have
personal Wrong verb form
having
time
for relaxation are
better than before statement. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
Therefore
, earning less amount may fulfill our basis
needs, and saving for the future , potentially leading to financial stressReplace the word
basic
;
but there Change the punctuation
,
have
Verb problem
are
much
more beneficial things too. Correct quantifier usage
many
For example
, having additional
extra period allows for personal development , spending Correct article usage
an additional
time
with family and friends, pursuing
interests and hobbies,Correct word choice
and pursuing
like
leisure Change preposition
apply
time
can use
for study Wrong verb form
be used
purpose
or involve exercise that can fit them both physically and mentally .
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
To conclude
, due to
the aformentioned
reasons, we may safely conclude that, the advantage of average income with Correct your spelling
aforementioned
free
period Correct article usage
a free
outweigh
the excessive income with Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
less
hours. Change the quantifier
fewer
Consequently
, I believe we should focus on our leisure for spending Correct article usage
a happily
happily
life.That, all know , Change the word
happy
money
cannot buy happiness.Submitted by tanjimrafel6 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should clearly state the topic and your thesis. Use transition words to improve the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Develop clear and distinct main points for each paragraph and support them with specific examples or evidence. Avoid ambiguous statements and ensure that the link between the main idea and supporting information is explicit.
task achievement
Fully respond to all aspects of the task. State your opinion clearly and develop your arguments coherently. Make sure you discuss both views thoroughly and provide a clear rationale for your opinion.
task achievement
Provide clear and comprehensive ideas for each point you are trying to make. Avoid general statements and strive to delve deeper into the topic with well-thought-out arguments and explanations.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to support your points. The examples should be directly connected to the arguments you are making and help to illustrate your points more vividly.
