The number of people being sent to prison is increasing year by year. While some people believe prison is the best way to tackle crime, others suggest that community service is more successful Discuss both views.

Currently, the
statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
show examples
says
Verb problem
show
show examples
that
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
number of inmates
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
been growing every single year
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
illustrates the incarceration reality these days.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
many individuals strongly believe that a jail is the best option for a society to protect itself, there are genuine people who consider it as a less effective method and request community
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
integration into the judgement system. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
both perspectives will be considered with their pros and cons. It is the truth, the harder sentences serious wrongdoers could get, the higher
chance
Correct article usage
the chance
show examples
to demotivate them from illegal practices. The main aim of a prison is to discourage citizens
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
breaking
law
Correct article usage
the law
show examples
and increase
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
value of freedom. It is a great way to instal a physical barrier between social community and illegal activity
participates
Replace the word
participants
show examples
,
however
, it is not so all of the time. As an example, in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
of putting an innocent behind
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bars, he or she could have been involved in gang organisations and even after realising may
Add a missing verb
have fallow
show examples
fallow
Correct your spelling
follow
show examples
orders from a correctional facility to
threat
Replace the word
threaten
show examples
people outside. Above, the example mentioned a transformation from an absolutely innocent person to a gangster,
this
is the reason why some advocates of payback services stand
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
against a jail attendant. Generally speaking, most of the time lawbreakers begin
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
petty crimes which are not too violent for all of us, thanks to it they would be able to reconsider their behaviour and give a chance for recovery.
On the other hand
, if they feel free to commit a crime and do some job repeatedly, it leads to more serious types of felony
such
as property, violent or even deadly crimes. In
this
case, there is a question,
does
Verb problem
Is
show examples
it worth that?
To conclude
, there is a wide range of
society
Replace the word
societal
show examples
issues
as well as
solutions,
nevertheless
we, as a human being, get to understand
importance
Add an article
the importance
show examples
of punishment either through detention centres or through community payback works, it must be. If everybody realises
this
simple point of view, it does not remain any controversial questions in terms of crime tackling.
Submitted by saladinrostislav on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that your essay remains focused on the topic of discussing both views about the best ways to tackle crime, whether through incarceration or community service.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas within paragraphs, and ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant examples.
supported main points
Develop your arguments with more detailed and specific examples. This will help in strengthening your points and providing a clearer response to the essay question.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes an introduction that clearly presents the topic and the two perspectives being discussed.
task achievement
The essay correctly identifies the main issues and provides a balanced discussion of both perspectives.
coherence cohesion
You have used some appropriate linking words and phrases which help in connecting ideas and showing contrast.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Deterrence
  • Retribution
  • Rehabilitation
  • Recidivism
  • Vocational training
  • Cost-effectiveness
  • Sentencing
  • Offenders
  • Justice system
  • Community integration
What to do next:
Look at other essays: