Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in other country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opininos.

Some individuals think that
people
with
third
Correct article usage
a third
show examples
level of education like
doctors
and engineers should be asked to
work
in the
country
they
Rephrase
where they
show examples
received their training.
While
some
people
believe
professionals
should be free to
work
in
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
if they
decided
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
, I strongly believe they should be required to
work
in the
country
they were trained because they need to give back to their society and
country
. Some
people
believe that
professionals
like
doctors
and engineers should feel free to
work
in other countries if they
decided
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
to do it because they
search
Wrong verb form
are searching
show examples
for
high-job paying
Correct your spelling
high-paying
show examples
salaries
and
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
future. They believe that
people
with
third
Correct article usage
a third
show examples
level of education need to be paid
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
higher
salaries
and health insurance
plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans
show examples
;
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
they need to
left
Wrong verb form
leave
show examples
their
Change the word
the
show examples
country
where they were
bornt
Correct your spelling
born
show examples
. Most importantly, they left behind important
people
in their lives like fathers and
sibillings
Correct your spelling
siblings
.
For instance
, Mexico City has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
higher drain brain population because most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nurses and
doctors
are
unde
Correct your spelling
under
- pay and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
barely earn a decent salary, so they migrate to The United States or other countries.
However
, I disagree with
this
type of behaviour because these
professionals
need to give back to their community. Other
people
think that
professionals
should be asked to stay in the
country
they received their training because their society
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
them.
Also
, if they
left
Wrong verb form
leave
show examples
the
country
, many
people
will suffer from
high cost
Add a hyphen
high-cost
show examples
services because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
few
professionals
decided
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
to stay in the
country
.
As a result
, many families
emigrates
Change the verb form
emigrate
show examples
with them
as well as
these
doctors
and engineers. In sum,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
need to increase their
salaries
to
avoid
Verb problem
prevent
show examples
these
people
left
Wrong verb form
from leaving
show examples
their communities and families. To illustrate, in The United States
doctors
have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high paying
salaries
and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are highly appreciated
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
companies, so they tend to
saty
Correct your spelling
stay
in the USA to provide a good service to their
people
. I totally agree with
this
type of mentality and high-job paying
salaries
for
professionals
who obtain a degree because they decided to serve their
country
.
To conclude
,
although
some individuals believe that
professionals
should feel free to
work
in other countries because they want to have
a better job opportunities
Correct the article-noun agreement
better job opportunities
a better job opportunity
show examples
, I believe they should stay with
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
people
in their
country
to support their communities, and the
goevernment
Correct your spelling
government
governments
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
to increase their
salaries
for
professionals
with third level of education.
Submitted by cuevas14dic on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Addressing both views effectively and providing a balanced argument would improve the task response score. Ensure a clear opinion is expressed in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear organization and connections between ideas. Use transition words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and accurate language to convey your ideas effectively.
grammatical range
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Focus on sentence structure and use a variety of complex structures.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: