The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie chart illustrates information about the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
land
destruction worldwide,
whereas
the table demonstrates the causes by
regions
Fix the agreement mistake
region
show examples
, within a scope of a decade during
1990s
Change the article
the 1990s
show examples
. The changes have been
measared
Correct your spelling
measured
by
persentages
Correct your spelling
percentages
.
Deforestation
causes 30% of
land
degradation,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
it is not as high as the
land
used for
over- grazing
Correct your spelling
over-grazing
show examples
which is 35%, and not as low as the areas that are being over-cultivated by people with 28%.Another 7% is destroyed by over means. Moving onto the information displayed by the information causes in, certain regions
such
as North America,Europe and Oceania(which consists of
vamous
Correct your spelling
famous
various
huge islands inside the South Pacific,
Including
Fix capitalization
including
show examples
Australia and New
Zelang
Correct your spelling
Zealand
).
Firstly
, in North America total
land
damage was 5% with over-grazing being 1.5%
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cultivation over twice as much
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
3% and
deforestation
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
just 0,2%. The next
content
Replace the word
continent
show examples
Europe degraded 23% with 9.8% from
deforestation
, 7,7% from over-cultivation and the least over effected by over-grazing with 5,5% .
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
last
region Oceania,
over -cultivation
Correct your spelling
over-cultivation
show examples
did not cause any harm,
whereas
deforestation
caused 1.7% and over-grazing 1.3%,leading to a total of 1390.
Overall
,different areas used
aprevent
Correct word choice
a large
show examples
amount of
land
with over-grazing being the leading factor worldwide.
Submitted by hrushik2006 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words land, deforestation with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pie chart
  • Table
  • Main features
  • Comparisons
  • Decreasing productivity
  • Reasons
  • Regional variations
  • Data
  • Summarize
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