IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people believe they should keep all the money they have earned and should not pay tax to the state. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #tax
Numerous
people
 think that they have to spend the
money
 they have got without
pay
Change the verb form
paying
show examples
 any
tax
 to the government. I personally do not stand with
this
 opinion and will explain the reasons throughout
this
 essay.
First,
this
 essay will talk about the
money
 that
people
 earn is their right to spend
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 things they
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
 to buy and give
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 explanation
why
Change preposition
of why
show examples
tax
 is important for the
state
 in order to develop.
People
 spend most of their time
to work
Change the verb form
working
show examples
 in
hope
Correct article usage
the hope
show examples
to get
Change preposition
of getting
show examples
money
 to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their needs.
For
Change preposition
In
show examples
this
 current situation when
everythings
Correct your spelling
everything
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
 expensive, they have to spend double because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inflation. In some cases, society can not handle all of their needs because of the small payment they get which direct them to face poverty.
Moreover
,
to pay
Change the verb form
paying
show examples
tax
 become
Correct article usage
a burdens
show examples
burdens
Fix the agreement mistake
burden
show examples
 for them since there are still a lot of responsibilities they have to pay
such
 as kids' tuition fee, insurance
money
 or even family needs.
However
, paying
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 is essential things not only for the government but
also
 for its
people
. The nation needs
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 to improve many fields
such
 as education, health,
economic
Replace the word
economics
show examples
, social, and infrastructure that are needed by the community who live there.
Furthermore
, without paying
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
, the
state
 will
struggling
Change the verb form
struggle
be struggling
show examples
 to find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which will lead the
state
 to experience big
disaster
Change the noun form
disasters
show examples
such
 as poverty or even health problems. In conclusion, even if
people
 have
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 to keep their
money
 and spend
in
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 on things they want
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
tax
 is their responsibility as the
people
 who live in a
state
 to
give
Verb problem
apply
show examples
contribution
Replace the word
contribute
show examples
 in order to help the country develop and not
facing
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
 poverty.
Submitted by Glo on

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Task Response
The essay demonstrates a limited understanding of the task requirements, with incomplete development of ideas and lack of clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is some attempt at logical sequencing of information, but the lack of clear introduction and conclusion affects the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay. The development of ideas is not fully supported and lacks clarity.
Lexical Resource
The essay shows an adequate range of vocabulary, but there are instances of inaccuracies and inappropriate word choices which hinder the overall lexical resource.
Grammatical Range
The grammatical range is limited, with errors in sentence structure, verb tenses, and subject-verb agreement. There is also overuse of simple sentence structures.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
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