Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification

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People have different views about whether youngsters should dedicate all their time and effort to their field of studies or learn other extracurricular subjects. As far as I am concerned, the second group has a better point of view

due to

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the reasons which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, there are a set of distinct benefits to being solely specialized in one area for learners.

Firstly

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, it can exert a significant effect on being more focused on gaining as much knowledge as possible. To elaborate on my point, distractions can contribute to less concentration so juveniles find it more challenging to vast their scientific horizons.

For instance

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, if a medical student wants to have a profound understanding of medical articles, she should devote all her time to reading the latest research on the internet.

On the other hand

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, nowadays being multi-dimensional is of paramount importance

due to

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the recent global changes in every aspect of our lives. Having a comprehensive understanding of several fields ensures a promising and rewarding career in future as the modern world has changed substantially in recent times. To cite an example, the emergence of AI has changed many jobs.

Therefore

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, the future can not be predicted easily

due to

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its uncertainties. From my perspective, if you have a more diverse awareness and transferable skill set, it will guarantee you to succeed in your desired profession.

For example

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, when I started my own business in newborn photography, I was forced to learn about advertising, business plans and customer service so as to accomplish my goals.

To sum up

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while

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being fully concentrated on one subject can be beneficial in many terms, people should have a wider range of knowledge to reach their objectives rapidly owing to the latest technological changes in the globe.

Submitted by TUTOO on Wed Nov 15 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but the main points could be better supported and more thoroughly developed.

task achievement

You've completed the task with clear ideas, but ensure all points directly relate to the question prompt and are fully explained.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

303 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Broaden
Perspectives
Specialize
Critical thinking
Problem-solving skills
Career success
Interdisciplinary connections
Structured path
Clear goals
Creativity
Innovation
Academic credibility
Recognition
Balance
Exploring

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Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

Fully explain your ideas

In many societies around the world, the population is rapidly aging, and this is leading to unsustainable increases in the cost of public health. The population of the country must pay for their own medical care in the future. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Drug abuse has become a growing concern in modern society, affecting both individuals and communities. Understanding the root causes of this issue is essential to finding effective solutions.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?