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Band 4

Crime rate,in most countries ,is often higer in urban areas than in rural areas .why do you think that is?what can be done to reduce the problem.

#crime #rate #countries #higer #areas
In the present era, in
city
areas
, the percentage of
criminals
 is calculated more in comparison to in village
areas
 in most of the regions. Well, there are various reasons behind
this
 scenario
along with
this
 there are certain preventive measures needed to be taken to cope with
this
 mense. I will explicate both of these in upcoming paragraphs with relevant examples. There is a myriad of situations to support
tis
Correct your spelling
this
its
 viewpoint, but the most prominent one is that the crime rate is increasing in metropolitan
areas
 because of the expensive lifestyle as most of the countries are hit by inflation nowadays
due to
 which fulfilling the basic necessities
such
 as rents, mortgage and the study fees of juveniles is not a cup of tea for a common man.
Whereas
, the people who live in
rulrar
Correct your spelling
rural
areas
 have their own houses that they have received from their ancestors as
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
 in they do not have any worries
abou
Correct your spelling
about
mortgage
Fix the agreement mistake
mortgages
show examples
 or making rent payments. To elucidate, as per the reports of
reserchers
Correct your spelling
researchers
, COVID-19 affected the
city
 humans
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
 in adversely rather than villagers,
this
Correct word choice
and this
show examples
 has made the prices of developed apartments
sky rocketing
Correct your spelling
skyrocketing
show examples
 in India.
Hence
, meeting all the requirements are quite harder in big town
instead
 of small ones
therefore
, more
criminals
 starts originating from bigger cities. Moving
further
 with the same view, job opportunities are quite less in cities even though, most of the people are highly educated and
this
 opposite in rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 where individuals are less knowledgable but are self-employed.
Hence
,
this
 is the other major reason behind the origin of offenders from metro
areas
 not from backward
areas
. Moving towards some measures to solve the trouble, first and foremost one is the
govenment
Correct your spelling
government
 officials can play a major role in
this
 case, as rulers have the ability to generate job opportunities in highly populated
areas
.
Moreover
, conducting motivational seminars related to generating self-employment situations by using their skills until the time
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
they do not have a
white collar
Add a hyphen
white-collar
show examples
 job, could prove a good help to stop
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 from generating more
criminals
.
Furthermore
, banks can
also
 take steps to help society by providing loans at
low-interest
Correct your spelling
low interest
show examples
 rates so that the backs of
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 crowd are not against the walls to become
criminals
.
To conclude
,
according to
 the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a logical conclusion that the problem of high crime in
city
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
 rather than in the village can be addressed properly, provided that
above-stated
Correct article usage
the above-stated
show examples
 measures can be taken.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly introduce and summarize the main points. The essay should have a clear and logical structure with well-supported main points.
task achievement
The essay should fully address all parts of the task and provide relevant and specific examples to support the ideas. Ensure that the ideas are comprehensive and clear in their relation to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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