Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction

It is argued that an increasing number of individuals with health problems are opting

alternative

Change preposition

for alternative

show examples

treatments

instead

Linking Words

of going to hospitals. In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

is a completely negative development because alternative

medicines

Use synonyms

are not able to completely cure a disease and safety is not guaranteed.

Body paragraph 1

Using alternative remedies to cure people’s health problems, are not successful.

This

Linking Words

becauses

Correct your spelling

because

some

medicines

Use synonyms

can reduce symptoms, but they can't make them disappear.

This

Linking Words

causes a big problem

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if individuals notice that they are still sick, and they decide to go to the hospital. The doctor will tell them to do a body examination, but after taking

medicines

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

can lead to errors when analyzing, since the treatment that they had followed could

conduct

Verb problem

result

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

omission or short-term disappearance of some indicators in the analysis.

For example

Linking Words

, 30 minutes after taking ibuprofen, the feeling of pain will directly disappear for some hours, but

then

Linking Words

it will start again, so for some diseases,

this

Linking Words

is not the best solution.

Body paragraph 2

The use of medicine

that is

Linking Words

not indicated by doctors, effectiveness and safety are not guaranteed.

This

Linking Words

is because people do not know what problem they have. So they will search on the internet for the disease and the solution, but the answers that they may

found

Wrong verb form

find

show examples

on the websites can be false

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since some illnesses have the same symptoms.

Then

Linking Words

, people won’t treat their problems as important, risking their health and well-being. Recent research concluded that around 85% of people do not give importance to the diseases they have because they think the problem they have is not dangerous.

Conclusion

In conclusion, taking

medicines

Use synonyms

without

doctor's

Correct article usage

a doctor's

show examples

permission, will not heal the illness completely and it can cause

missunderstanding

Correct your spelling

misunderstanding

while

Linking Words

taking analysis,

therefore

Linking Words

, I believe,

this

Linking Words

is a completely negative development.

elenazheng1211

Nov 15, 2023

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coherence cohesion

Include a wider range of linking phrases to ensure a smooth flow of ideas and enhance the essay's coherence.

task achievement

Develop your main points further with more specific examples and explanations to fully flesh out your arguments.

grammar

Work on varying your sentence structures to showcase a broader range of grammatical forms.

lexical resource

Pay attention to accuracy in spelling and word choice to avoid errors that may hinder communication.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

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