In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have dissapeared or are disappearing. What problem is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this solution?
It is true that many individuals are forgetting their traditional method of celebrating in many parts of the world. There are various reasons why it is vanishing. In
this
essay, we look at the different causes of this
issue and provide effective and practical solutions.
To commence with, there are three main factors why festival parties have lost their taste in many countries. firstly
, due to
friends with different backgrounds, people in colleges or in the office may get influenced suddenly and start adopting and wearing their way of spending life. secondly
, although
there have been many celebrities who have different religious beliefs because of their lavish lifestyles and different appearances, many young adults find them attractive and have started imitating them, which affects them hugely. For instance
, there is a famous rapper known by the name of Travis Scott, and because of his fan following, most people consider it
the path to success. Correct pronoun usage
him
Finally
, seeing different kinds of festivals on TV screens on the
Correct article usage
apply
billboard
may Fix the agreement mistake
billboards
also
persuade the viewer mentally, and because of that, many started following them.
On the other hand
, even though it is Correct article usage
a perpitual
perpitual
issue, there are many ways to curtail Correct your spelling
perpetual
this
problem. Primarily, there should be a fine boundary between you and your friend, which could be done perfectly by interacting with them professionally. Also
, celebrities should act as role models and must be alert by
their actions about how they Change preposition
to
confronted
them, but at the same time, shows that are televised by production companies should know their impact on Wrong verb form
confront
the
young Correct article usage
apply
adults
minds and their physical shape.
Change to a genitive case
adult's
adults'
To conclude
, it is a well-known fact that traditional celebration has been removing its steps from one's life. By adopting the proposed solution of promoting balance and boundaries among friends and fine behavior
from role models, we can successfully mitigate Change the spelling
behaviour
this
hurdle.Submitted by abdulahad08600 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay needs a clearer logical structure with better paragraphing and connection between ideas. Use clear transitions to guide the reader through your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop your supporting points further with more detailed explanations or examples to add depth to your essay.
Task Achievement
Ensure you respond fully to the task, including discussing the problems caused by the loss of traditional festivals and specific measures that could be taken to counter this solution. The ideas presented require more directness and exploration.
Task Achievement
Consider providing real-life examples or statistics to support your points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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