Some people think competitive sport is important for a child's education. Others think it has negative effects on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sport #child #education #effects #children

There has been much discussion revolving around the issue of whether competitive

sport

is important for a child's education or it has a negative impact. In

this

essay, I will discuss both views and present my opinion.

Firstly

, competitive

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

can help improve your courage and solve a lot of issues.

For example

, If you have problems with your confidence or

struggles

Correct subject-verb agreement

struggle

show examples

with mental health, in

competitive

Add an article

the competitive

a competitive

show examples

sport

you can learn to get over it, because when a person takes part in different competitions, his confidence levels increase and a person learns how to cope with stress.

As a result

, a person becomes versatile and resistant to difficulties.

Secondly

, participating in competitive sports could have a positive impact on your future.

For instance

, a successful career in basketball can lead you to top universities or open the doors to your dream job.

Consequently

, your efforts now could ensure your future.

However

, competitive

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

can cause a lot of different traumas both mental and physical.

For example

, in martial

arts

Add a comma

arts,

show examples

a lot of sportsmen suffer from psychological traumas and they cannot live normal lives. In conclusion, competitive

sport

has both sides, but I believe,

Correct your spelling

show examples

Submitted by oimigle on Wed Nov 15 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear and coherent structure, which makes it difficult to follow the arguments presented. The writer should focus on creating logical transitions and a systematic arrangement of ideas.

task achievement

The essay does not provide a complete response as it ends abruptly, indicating it may be unfinished. It is critical that the introduction and conclusion are fully developed to encapsulate the essay's main points.

coherence cohesion

The main points are supported, but it would be beneficial to develop these points further with a wider range of examples and a deeper analysis of both sides of the argument.

task achievement

Ideas are relevant and the use of examples is good, but the clarity of the discussion can be improved by more comprehensive explanations and a more assertive expression of the writer's opinion toward the end.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

194 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think competitive sport is important for a child's education. Others think it has negative effects on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

Some people believe that universities should only accept students with the highest marks while others believe that some students with low marks should have an opportunity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people around de world think that be owner of a house it is better that to rent a place for living

You are going to take a short holiday in Singapore and you want to rent a holiday apartment while you are there. Write to the tourist information office. In your letter: -Explain what you need. -Say when you plan to be there. -Ask for information about prices.

Some people believe that the difference between the lowest paid job and the highest paid jobs should be reduced. What extent do you agree?