In many countries people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays life expectancy is very high, elderly

people

Use synonyms

are able to live a long life. It is often argued that senior citizens cause challenges to the local governments whilst others believe that it is an advantage to have many older

people

Use synonyms

in the community. I opine that the negativities overpowers the positivites,

this

Linking Words

essay will consider some reasons below. First and foremost is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the reason why older

adults

Use synonyms

are important in the community is that they maintain a strong stable environment.

According to

Linking Words

functionalist theory, it says, old

people

Use synonyms

create a value consensus in the local area so that

people

Use synonyms

would live in peace, love and respect. I remember back

then

Linking Words

, my grandmother used to teach every young

children

Change to a singular noun

child

show examples

if they

pass

Wrong verb form

passed

show examples

through their house how to greet

adults

Use synonyms

, to wear

appropiate

Correct your spelling

appropriate

clothes and to respect elders. In

this

Linking Words

case,

this

Linking Words

helped the community to have young and adult

people

Use synonyms

who are cultured and

well mannered

Add a hyphen

well-mannered

show examples

. Our grandparents were experts when it comes to

workforce

Correct article usage

the workforce

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industry, they could share how they ran

business

Fix the agreement mistake

businesses

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and how they

excel

Wrong verb form

excelled in

show examples

their education which vital to young ones for the future. But in

this

Linking Words

positive aspect of being good leaders in the society is not essential in modern days. Children and

adults

Use synonyms

are getting guidance from social experts in church, school and as a family. I believe many

adults

Use synonyms

are now able to coach their individuals about life skills and culture. On the other side, there are some drawbacks like

shortage

Correct article usage

a shortage

show examples

of medical facilities which is a major problem

Change preposition

for

show examples

the government. The issue of medication demands more money which can lead to economic recession in the country.Most of the elderly

people

Use synonyms

suffer from chronic

disease

Change the noun form

diseases

show examples

like diabetes, heart disease, cancer, respiratory failure, dementia and many more. It needs medical

attension

Correct your spelling

attention

. The most negative part is

shortage

Add an article

a shortage

the shortage

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of doctors and nurses in the health sector.

Moreover

Linking Words

,old

people

Use synonyms

stay in

long term

Add a hyphen

long-term

show examples

care hospitals with less care. I think medication

Change preposition

for

show examples

oldage

Correct your spelling

old

people

Use synonyms

affect

Change the verb form

affects

show examples

all sectors

Change preposition

show examples

the country

hence

Linking Words

there is

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of employment. In conclusion,ancient

people

Use synonyms

play

Wrong verb form

played

show examples

a significant role in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society but nowadays

people

Use synonyms

are

now

Rephrase

apply

show examples

learning from peers, family members and

church

Correct article usage

the church

show examples

. Aging

people

Use synonyms

creates

Correct subject-verb agreement

create

show examples

difficult situations like medication and hospitalisation which can affect the economy.

ymhariwaWed Nov 15 2023

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Introduction & Conclusion Structure

Ensure the introductory paragraph clearly presents the subject and outlines your position, while the conclusion summaries your main points effectively.

Supporting Main Points

Develop main ideas with examples and explanations thoroughly. Each paragraph should elaborate on a single main idea related to the task.

Task Completion

Provide thorough responses to all parts of the task, demonstrating clear understanding and comprehensive coverage of the topic.

Coherence & Logical Structure

Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and across paragraphs, avoiding overuse or misuse.

Relevance & Specific Examples

Keep your ideas relevant to the essay prompt and avoid straying off-topic; include specific examples that directly support your position.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

378 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g., film stars, pop musicians or sport stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of job should be highly paid?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many Museums charge for admission while others do not. Do you think that the advantages of charging people into the museum out weights the disadvantages ?