IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, companies allow people to work from home. In others, people are still expected to work in an office. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Working remotely is becoming more popular nowadays. In some nations, the employed provide
this
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 opportunity for their employees.
However
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, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other countries, the workforces are not allowed to
work
Use synonyms
 from
home
Use synonyms
. Albeit, both advantages and disadvantages are in alignment with
this
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 new system, I personally believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, and I will elaborate on the reasons behind my viewpoint. The opportunity
of working
Change preposition
to work
show examples
 remotely offers a substantial number of outcomes. A prime example of it is the time flexibility associated with it, leading to less concerns about being on time at
work
Use synonyms
, providing a less stressful lifestyle specifically for people who are struggling with some issues,
such
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of
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as
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 looking after their parents or having little children.
Moreover
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,
this
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 type of
work
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 overcomes the geographic barriers, leading to
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhanced
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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chances for the individuals to secure employment. Recent research reported by the BBC in 2020, mentioned that the rate of unemployment witnessed an impressive 80% decrease since
the
Correct article usage
apply
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remotely
Change the word
remote
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 working has been expanded.
While
Linking Words
 the benefits of working from
home
Use synonyms
 are undeniable, it is important to consider its disadvantages. The most important one is isolation contributed
with
Change preposition
to
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 change. Admittedly, if people do not go to
office
Add an article
the office
an office
show examples
, they will not be able to socialize, resulting in a number of mental health issues,
such
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 as depression and anxiety. A 2019 experiment conducted by Cambridge University, assessed the collaboration between the level of depression and the type of workplace in two distinctive groups, one working at the office and the
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other
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 one working from
home
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. The results revealed a significant increase
by
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of
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 80% in the latter group.
Therefore
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, finding a solution for
this
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 kind of
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
 should be taken
to
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into
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 consideration.
To sum up
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, I do acknowledge the view, claiming that being at
office
Add an article
the office
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 for
work
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 is a better choice for employees because of the side effects of working from
home
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, like some mental health diseases.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the
beneficials
Correct your spelling
beneficiaries
 associated with remotely working play a vital role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the employees’ lives, by fostering their chance to find a job
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and giving them a flexible lifestyle. I strongly think that its valuable outcomes outweigh its baleful effects.

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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task achievement
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