IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Governments should spend money on rail/ways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#governments #money #rail #roads
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I believe the good developing countries can see from the infrastructures, the statement says the
government
Use synonyms
 needs spare
money
Use synonyms
 for
railways
Use synonyms
 rather than
roads
Use synonyms
. I fully not really agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because the
government
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 needs to spend
money
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 on other subjects
such
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 as
roads
Use synonyms
 not only on
railways
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. In my opinion, two aspects are the most important for the
transportation
Use synonyms
 sector because it can be helpful to make people quickly arrive at their purpose.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain when the
government
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 only focused on
railways
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. We know that
railways
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 are good public
transport
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 because the train is very quick rather
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
 other public
transport
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.
For example
Linking Words
, when the
railways
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 are limited, In my mind, it can be the same with other public
transport
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.
Moreover
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, when some people need to
quick
Rephrase
apply
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arrive at the office or school because the railway station is crowded it can be a trap for some people.
Secondly
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, In my
argue
Replace the word
argument
show examples
 about the statement, I prefer to develop other
transportation
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 ways.
In addition
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, In my countries have
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
roads
Use synonyms
 in bad condition.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when the
government
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also
Linking Words
 gives to spend
money
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 for
roads
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also
Linking Words
can be
Verb problem
apply
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helps for alternative public
transport
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such
Linking Words
 as buses.
For example
Linking Words
, when the
government
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 have a good distribution for
spend
Replace the word
spending
show examples
money
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, I guess the bus can be another choice for way public
transport
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 because some student
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
 the bus for
transport
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 to
going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 to school. In
cases
Correct quantifier usage
some cases
show examples
, some students can be late when the
roads
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in
Add a missing verb
are in
show examples
 bad condition because damaged
roads
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 will
be have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
accidents.
To conclude
Linking Words
, developing countries can be checked based on infrastructure.
Use synonyms
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 can be spending
money
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for
Change preposition
on
show examples
infrastructures
Fix the agreement mistake
infrastructure
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, especially
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
railways
Use synonyms
 or
roads
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when the
government
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 only
focused
Wrong verb form
focuses
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 one way it can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
trap
transportation
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
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government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spend
money
Use synonyms
 to plan
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 public
transportation
Use synonyms
 to provide public
transportation
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
The essay often lacks clarity in expression and ideas are not always developed logically, exhibiting poor cohesion. Make sure to construct clear and coherent sentences, and to develop paragraphs logically with clear topic sentences.
task achievement
Responses to the task's objectives are limited and underdeveloped. You need to address the question directly by presenting a nuanced argument and responding comprehensively to all parts of the task.
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