Some people think that modern tecchnology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable Discuss both views and give your opinion
People
's attitudes toward recent technology have been a debatable matter among people
. Some of them believe that this
new approach has helped members of the
society to be more sociable. Others, Correct article usage
apply
however
, find that modern technology has a negative effect of driving people
to be introverted. Thus
, this
essay will discuss both views,
and Remove the comma
apply
then
I will state my personal opinion regarding this
matter.
On the one hand, a group of people
believe in the positivity of technonlogy
in developing one's Correct your spelling
technology
communications
ability. Fix the agreement mistake
communication
In other words
, several individuals struggle with shyness and difficulties in delivering their thoughts. Accordingly
, through texting and other forms of technological communication, many people
benifited
from the boundaries set by Correct your spelling
benefit
such
this
types of social connection and Correct determiner usage
apply
got
more comfortable Wrong verb form
get
to share
their ideas and thoughts. Change the verb form
sharing
For example
, researchers have comfirmed
that shy and Correct your spelling
confirmed
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
people
tend to prefer communicating through their social platforms instead
of direct contact. This
evidently proves that developed forms of technology contribute positively to people
's social interactions.
On the other hand
, some would argue that new technologies have the opposite effect which rather
Rephrase
apply
discourage
individuals Change the verb form
discourages
to interact
effectively. Their view describes how distance contact can form a barrier that prevents the speaker Change preposition
from interacting
to deliver
his/her thoughts and Change preposition
from delivering
feeling
properly to the addressee. Replace the word
feelings
As a result
, a negative attitude towards this
kind of interaction can evolve affecting future conversations negatively. For instance
, a significant numbers
of Fix the agreement mistake
number
ealders
have expressed their distress about using recent methods of Correct your spelling
elders
readers
contacts
finding Fix the agreement mistake
contact
hard
to use them and Correct pronoun usage
it hard
feel
socially excluded since many Wrong verb form
feeling
people
now use them
In my point of view, I find that both views are valid, yet I am in favor
Change the spelling
favour
for
the latter. Despite how great the means of interaction Change preposition
of
have
become, it surely is not liked by everyone. I Change the verb form
has
peronally
think that direct contact with Correct your spelling
personally
people
is more easier compared to texting and other online communications.
To conclude
, public opinions towards modern technologies are controversial between those who think they are socially advantageous and those who find it the opposite. In spite of the fact that there are multipe
positive outcomes, I believe that their cons outweigh their pros.Correct your spelling
multiple
Submitted by tnteeroo on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences in your essay can be more concisely structured to enhance readability and coherence. Redundancies can be reduced for a more impactful argument.
task achievement
Ensure particular attention is given to the task achievement of the essay, including a clear position that is relevant throughout the entirety of the response. Supporting examples should be more specific and directly related to the argument presented.
lexical resource
Variation in sentence structure will show grammatical range, including more complex structures and appropriate punctuation. Aim for a mix of simple and complex sentences.
grammatical range
Maintain consistent spelling of
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!