IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Today many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

#people #neighbours #cities
Nowadays, many
people
 do not recognize that
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 places
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 they are living there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 in big
cities
.
Overall
, the principal cause is they do not care about
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
 or arguments around the house or even outside their house.
Besides
, they do not think that
this
Change the determiner
this city
these cities
show examples
cities
 can become huge significantly they have just thought
this
city
wwas
Correct your spelling
was
 small and do not know
your
Correct word choice
if your
show examples
city
 is the biggest or maybe ranked 4th or 5th
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the world. The underlying group of the problem is that they do not care about
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
 or arguments outside their house.
For instance
, some
people
was
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
people
 they
ignores
Change the verb form
ignore
show examples
 everything around their life, they just live in another world
pass
Correct word choice
and pass
show examples
 the important information. But in large
cities
 have a lot of modern equipment to
Add a missing verb
be covenient
show examples
covenient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 or suitable for new
tenagers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
 like Genz. More and more, it appears
or
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 upgrade facilities become better than in the past
stragies
Correct your spelling
strategies
such
 as automatic cars with no driver.
That is
 true in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 it appears automatic cars with no driver, we can call and book it
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online but it just launched some days before. When they
finishes
Change the verb form
finish
show examples
book
Change the verb form
booking
show examples
 a car, we can stand
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the side street to catch your car
look
Wrong verb form
looking
show examples
 like Grab, we need to wave
hand
Correct pronoun usage
our hand
show examples
 and the car will know which you intend to catch it will immediately stop it and open the door.
Also
, it
was earn
Change the verb form
was earning
show examples
 money like expense and income. Perhaps, one solution to the problem was they
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 just known
this
city
 was only small but not too big to contain all of
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 in the world.
For instance
, in
a small
Correct the article-noun agreement
a small city
small cities
show examples
cities
, it is inconvenient to go around places to entertain with friends and family.
In addition
, when
go
Change the verb form
going
show examples
 to the workplace, it is hard to go
while
 they
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 busy and in high period time the
city
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
overload
Wrong verb form
overloaded
show examples
, loads of
people
gets
Change the verb form
get
show examples
 into trouble with
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 to school or
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 late makes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic congestion. Everybody should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
read magazines and newspapers to update new
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 for today or even expand the knowledge for us. In conclusion, a lot of
people
 do not know their neighbours in large
cities
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Ensure clarity in introducing the topic and summarizing the main points in the conclusion.
logical structure
Develop a clearer and more logical structure throughout the essay.
supported main points
Support main points with relevant examples and explanations.
complete response
Respond fully to all parts of the task prompt and provide a more detailed answer.
clear comprehensive ideas
Present ideas clearly and comprehensively within the paragraphs.
relevant specific examples
Use examples that are specifically relevant to the topic directly addressing the problems and solutions.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Community spirit
  • Isolation
  • Surveillance
  • Safety and security
  • Vulnerability
  • Support networks
  • Local gatherings
  • Foster
  • Social media platforms
  • Neighbourhood watch
  • Emergency situations
  • Natural disasters
  • Shared resources
  • Crime rates
What to do next:
Look at other essays: