IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line chart below illustrates the amount of worldwide tourist arrivals in 5 countries from 1995 until 2010.

The line chart below illustrates the amount of worldwide tourist arrivals in 5 countries from 1995 until 2010.
#line #amount #tourist #arrivals #countries
The line chart below illustrates the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of worldwide tourist arrivals in 5 countries from 1995 until 2010.
Overall
, all of the nations presented had seen
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 increase in that number.
Brazil
 and Egypt consistently had a fairly equal number of tourist arrivals.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
 the start of the time period, both countries had 10
million
. Later, that quantity would gradually increase to slightly below 20,000,000 with Egypt coming ahead with a small gap over
Brazil
.
Although
 Malaysia had always had at least twice as many tourists,
than
Correct word choice
as
show examples
previous
Change the article
the previous
show examples
 pair discussed, it followed
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar pattern of gaining travellers slowly. Unlike in other places, in
France
Add a comma
France,
show examples
 the rate of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
improvement was high before
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
show examples
 century. In the next 60 months, the flow of travellers was still increasing, but not as much as before. Fortunately, in
Correct article usage
the later
show examples
later
Change the word
late
show examples
 2000's the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of arrivals
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
skyrocketed
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a large magnitude once again.
Thus
, France had experienced a whopping improvement in
this
 statistic: from 30
million
 to a staggering figure of above 80
million
, which made the nation the most visited in
this
 list
along with
Brazil
.
In
Change the preposition
At
show examples
 the beginning of
given
Correct article usage
the given
show examples
 time interval,
Brazil
 was receiving more than 70,000,000 people.
This
 quantity increased until a peak of 90
million
 tourists was reached in 2005, followed by a small, gradual drop to the level of France.
Submitted by alexander.vectorgs on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words brazil, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "improvement" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: