The graph below shos the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparizons where relevant.

#shos #shops #country #summarise #information #features #comparizons

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The line chart compares the number of

stores

Use synonyms

that shut down and new entry

stores

Use synonyms

in the market in a specific nation from 2011 to 2018.

Overall

Linking Words

, the number of

stores

Use synonyms

that decided to close their business accounted for more than the total of business that just entered the market over the period, except in the first year. Turning first the total of

stores

Use synonyms

opening in 2018, stood at around 8,500

then

Linking Words

fall

Wrong verb form

fell

show examples

dramatically to just under 4,000 in 2012 but rebounded by roughly 50% in 2014. Until the

last

Linking Words

recorded year, 2018, the total of opening

stores

Use synonyms

had decreased gradually to 3,000, which was the lowest point in the trend.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, stood at around 6,500, The total of

stores

Use synonyms

that shut down had fluctuated before

fall

Wrong verb form

falling

show examples

significantly to just under 1,000 in 2015,

then

Linking Words

rebounded dramatically to roughly 5,000 until the end of the following year.

Submitted by diyolory on Thu Nov 16 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words stores with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

150 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Retail trends
Fluctuation
Peak
Trough
Closure
Inauguration/opening
Steady increase/decrease
Notable dip
Substantial growth
Consumer habits
Market dynamics
Economic indicators
Commercial landscape
Technological disruption
E-commerce impact

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