Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued by individuals that the lack of
plants
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in particular
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

species is the principal ecological issue;
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, other people say that there are significant
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental

If you don’t want enviromental to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

issues. From my perspective, I agree with the former viewpoint because living things can contribute to a stable place in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

life. It is somewhat true that pollution is
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
big
challenges
Fix the agreement mistake
challenge

It seems that challenges may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
that arises and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has

It seems that the verb have does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
to
get
Verb problem
be

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
attention to improve
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, health
problems
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

would be intertwined if those
problems
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

could not be handled straight away.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a doctor from one of the
pretigious
Correct your spelling
prestigious

If you don’t want pretigious to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals

It seems that hospital may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
in Indonesia in 2022 reported the worst quality of air pollution has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb been appears to be unnecessary here.

show examples
increase
Change the verb form
increasing
increased

It appears that the verb increase should be in a participle form for the present perfect continuous tense. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
over the years.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, 23% of citizens in Indonesia suffer from lung
problems
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there
are
Change the verb form
is

The plural form of be are does not seem to agree with the singular subject some humankind. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
some humankind who assert that nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
particular species of
plants
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are in need of awareness because those could secure
environment
Correct article usage
the environment

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
more
Change the word
apply

The double comparative more better may be repetitive. Consider changing this to the appropriate comparative form.

show examples
better.
As
Change preposition
For

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
for
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

reason
Add a comma
reason,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase for this reason. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
plants
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

help to spread oxygen and
to
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
absorb carbon dioxide
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

other elements that
harmful
Add a missing verb
are harmful

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
,
where
Correct word choice
whereas

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
Add a missing verb
are in

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
charge of
make
Change the form of the verb
making

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb make. Consider changing it.

show examples
a stable
life-cycle
Correct your spelling
life cycle

The word life-cycle doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
organization
Capitalize word
Organization

The word organization should be capitalized in this context.

show examples
for
rare
Correct your spelling
Rare Animals

The word rare animals doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms
plants
Capitalize word
Plants

The word plants should be capitalized in this context.

show examples
made statements
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the newspaper in 2017, they were said
15
Correct word choice
that 15

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
% of species that have been lost made the forest’s appearance
worst
Correct word choice
worse

There may be an adjective issue here.

show examples
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

there were some
problems
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

like the contamination of
area
Add an article
the area

The noun phrase area seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
, there
is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb form is does not seem to agree with the plural subject creatures that need recognition. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
creatures that need recognition because if humanity lost them, the environment would be
a
Change the article
an

The article a may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word unstable.

show examples
unstable place to
life
Replace the word
live

The word life doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
.
Submitted by heyyo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

position clarity
Be sure to maintain a clear position throughout your response. Your essay sometimes wavers between different viewpoints which can confuse the reader and detract from the clarity of your opinion.
logical progression
Improve cohesion by better organizing your ideas. This can be achieved by more effectively using linking words and arranging paragraphs so that there is a clear and logical progression of ideas.
example specificity
To enhance your task achievement, expand on your examples by giving more specific details. This will strengthen your argument and provide a more complete response to the prompt.
lexical diversity
Your lexical resource is adequate, but to achieve a higher score, diversify your vocabulary. Avoid repetition of words and phrases by using synonyms and varied language.
grammatical accuracy
Your grammatical range could be improved. Aim to include a variety of sentence structures and ensure correct grammatical forms are used throughout the essay.
spelling and diction
Be attentive to your spelling and wording to avoid errors ('pretigious' should be 'prestigious', 'more better' should be 'better'). These mistakes can impact the perceived level of English proficiency.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: