Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is how to be good
members
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
society
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. It is undeniable that
an
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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adequate
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour

The spelling of behavior is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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in
society
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has become an essential part of our life,
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there is no absolute agreement on
whether
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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who should
be teach
Change the verb form
be teaching

It appears that the form of the verb teach does not work with be in this sentence.

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children good
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour

The spelling of behavior is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

parents
Change preposition
to parents

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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or teachers at school. A commonly held belief is that school is the place to learn how to be good
members
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
society
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. As evidence of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they point to commuting with peers and teachers you would be more conscious and responsible for your own actions.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore

If you don’t want Futhermore to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, being at school
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps

It seems that the verb help does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to develop your leadership qualities. It could be explained by the fact that other people would not
be endure
Change the verb form
endure

It appears that the form of the verb endure does not work with be in this sentence.

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your bad acts and teachers could
be
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb be appears to be unnecessary here.

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teach what means
good
Change preposition
to good

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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members
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
community
Add an article
the community

The noun phrase community seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it leads to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

while
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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learning what
is
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb is appears to be unnecessary here.

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that
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means

It seems that the verb mean does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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,
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they can practice in their own experience.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some people claim that people who teach
becoming
Wrong verb form
people to become

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb becoming. Consider changing it.

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good
members
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
society
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
Change the verb form
are

The verb is does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they may mention that your
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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know you best, and know what teach you.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they have gone through a lot of
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations

It seems that situation may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in their experience. The explanation lies in the fact that they can give
advise
Replace the word
advice

The word advise doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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what
Change preposition
on what

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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to do in
certainly
Change the word
certain

Certainly seems to be the wrong part of speech for this context.

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situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations

It seems that situation may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can help to learn how to be integrity in
comfortable
Add an article
a comfortable

The noun phrase comfortable atmosphere seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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atmosphere. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account I would
agrue
Correct your spelling
argue
agree

If you don’t want agrue to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

that all
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

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rules and warnings have to
be teach
Change the verb form
be taught

It appears that the form of the verb teach does not work with be in this sentence.

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by
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from
early
Correct article usage
an early

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age

It seems that ages may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

case
Add a comma
case,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In this case. Consider adding a comma.

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they can
grow
Verb problem
raise

There may be a verb use issue here.

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childre
Correct your spelling
children

If you don’t want childre to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

who
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have

It seems that the verb has does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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a
good tempered
Add a hyphen
good-tempered

It seems that good tempered is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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manner in
social
Add an article
a social
the social

The noun phrase social environment seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
environment.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is expanded upon with relevant examples and explanations. Strive for a more varied use of cohesive devices beyond simple linking words to enhance the flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
Task achievement could be improved by providing more specific examples and ensuring that both sides of the argument are explored fully before giving a reasoned conclusion. The opinion should be clearly stated and backed by solid arguments and examples.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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