IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Most people do not care enough about environmental issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #care
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, environmental problems
such
 as greenhouse emission
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 noticeable, and
people
 are now more aware of those
issues
.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my perspective, the awareness of
people
 can be obviously seen by how
people
 adjust their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 to be able to help
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
this
 problem. There are reasons to support the claim.
To begin
 with, the amount of
plastic
 bags being used in convenience stores and supermarkets is decreasing as individuals are now using reusable bags
instead
.
In addition
, the number of
plastic
 water bottles plummets as citizens are more likely to replace them with reusable water bottles.
Plastic
 bags and water bottles have the most impact on environmental
issues
 which has been
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
due to
 the concern of the individuals.
Moreover
, large companies
such
 as McDonald's and Starbucks declared the policies which will have in the reduction of environmental problems.
For example
, they are now offering paper straws to the customers
instead
 of
plastic
 ones.
Furthermore
,
Starbuck's
Fix the agreement mistake
Starbucks's
show examples
 policy is to sell
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reusable cups under their own brand, and consumers who
posses
Correct your spelling
possess
show examples
 these cups will have a discount on their drinks.
This
 psychologically
attract
Change the verb form
attracts
show examples
 customers to come, but their aim is that they will be able to assist
reducing
Change preposition
in reducing
show examples
 the consumption of
plastic
.
Additionally
,
people
 tend to use public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 more than private
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 as they realize that cars are the cause of environmental
issues
 these days. In summary, individuals are becoming more aware and concerned
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 environmental
issues
.
Thus
, they are now trying to stop consuming goods which
poses
Change the verb form
pose
show examples
 these
issues
, and their attempts are noticeable.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs are well-developed and fully support their main points. Some paragraphs may benefit from more detailed examples or further explanation to reinforce their arguments.
task achievement
Make sure that the response fully addresses all parts of the task. It seems that the essay could include more personal insights, opinions, or arguments to reflect a complete engagement with the prompt.
lexical resource
Do not repeat the same language too often. Aim to showcase a variety of vocabulary and to avoid redundancy.
grammatical range accuracy
Use a range of complex sentence structures to demonstrate grammatical proficiency. Avoid overusing simple or compound sentences.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • prioritize
  • immediate needs
  • connect with
  • distant
  • abstract
  • economic considerations
  • growing awareness
  • active participation
  • initiatives
  • movements
  • impacts
  • well-being
What to do next:
Look at other essays: