The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
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The given bar chart illustrates the
percentage
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of residents’
coffee
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and
tea
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purchasing and consuming habits in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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4 weeks in five different
cities
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(Sydney,
Melbourne
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,
Brisbane
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,
Adelaide
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, and Hobart) in Australia. In general, it is evident that going to a cafe to have
coffee
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or
tea
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was the most common habit, except in
Adelaide
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.
Additionally
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, the
percentage
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of
people
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buying instant
coffee
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was always higher than that of those purchasing fresh
coffee
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in all
cities
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. In terms of Sydney and
Melbourne
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,
while
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the
percentage
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of Sydney’s
people
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drinking
tea
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or
coffee
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at a cafe was about 61%, the figure for
Melbourne
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was slightly higher, at around 63%. Meanwhile, above 45% of citizens in Sydney and
Melbourne
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had a habit of buying instant
coffee
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,
whereas
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the proportions of those purchasing fresh
coffee
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in these two
cities
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were around 44% and 43% respectively. Moving on to the remaining
cities
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, having
coffee
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or
tea
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at a cafe accounted for the largest
percentage
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of
people
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in Hobart, followed by
Brisbane
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and
Adelaide
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, at approximately 51% and 49% respectively. At the same time, around 53% of
people
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in
Brisbane
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and Hobart chose to buy instant
coffee
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, compared to nearly 50% of those in
Adelaide
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.
Finally
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, a close similarity can be seen in the
percentage
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of
people
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buying fresh
coffee
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in
Brisbane
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and
Adelaide
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, at around 34%,
while
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Hobart’s figure was higher, at roughly 38%.
Submitted by phuongdong.nguyentran on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, coffee, tea, cities, melbourne, brisbane, adelaide, people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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