IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#universities #offer #courses #alternative #classes #campus #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that in
this
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 technological era, traditional
courses
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 provided by higher educational institutes have been replaced by electronic learning
courses
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.
While
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this
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 trend of teaching raises some issues, I feel that these online
courses
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 have great benefits for learners
as well as
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 tutors. On the one hand, the introduction of technology in the education sector brings some concerns.
Firstly
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, e-learning can be a hindrance in the development of learners’ soft skills like teamwork, collaboration etc., which always play a crucial role in the
overall
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 development of an individual and
due to
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 lack of interaction with instructor and classmates,
students
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 are unable to develop
such
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 abilities.
Secondly
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, it affects the academic performance of pupils as they tend to procrastinate because there is no monitoring authority on them which
also
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 sometimes results in poor allocation of time to complete assignments.
Finally
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, plagiarism and dishonesty are
also
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 areas of concern in which
students
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 get themselves involved
while
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 studying online owing to which they try to implement some unauthorized use of technology like indulging in transgression that may drive them to the verge of being expelled from the course of study.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 change is advantageous in many aspects. The first and foremost factor is accessibility which scholars have achieved with the advent of computer-based
courses
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 since distance barriers can be erased by the adoption of video-conferencing technology as it saves precious travelling time and
students
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 in destitute regions are now more likely to approach higher academic subjects as compared to the past.
Moreover
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, flexibility and convenience are the other benefits that a person can get with the help of virtual classes as any learner can study without time restriction and scholars can avail high quality education by prominent professors from renowned universities via e-learning.
Last
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 but not least, online distance education enables the
students
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 to review lectures and discussions and provides them with the opportunity to repeat any lecture if they are not able to understand the concepts,
thus
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 giving them the laxity to study without any extra charges from the tutor. In conclusion, no doubt
this
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 change is criticized
due to
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 having some adverse effects on scholars, I believe that its above-mentioned benefits cannot be neglected.
Submitted by yusifakhmad on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates an ability to organize ideas logically, but you need to ensure there is a clear and direct link between the thesis statement and the main points developed in the essay. This will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your work.
task achievement
In the introduction and conclusion, you must clearly state your position about the topic question. This is essential for a complete response to the prompt.
task achievement
To increase your score in task achievement, aim to explore the topic more deeply by developing clear and comprehensive ideas using more specific examples and explanations that directly relate to the prompt.
task achievement
You have avoided providing clear, specific examples and explanations to illustrate your points. To enhance task achievement, include more detailed examples that are directly relevant to the prompt.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexibility
  • accessibility
  • tuition fees
  • commuting
  • accommodation
  • multimedia
  • interactive tools
  • enhance
  • cater to
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personalized attention
  • complex concepts
  • motivation
  • discipline
  • structure
  • extracurricular activities
  • networking
  • university experience
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