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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts and table give information about the total value and sources of fish imported to the US between 1988 and 2000.

The pie charts and table give information about the total value and sources of fish imported to the US between 1988 and 2000.
#information #value #sources #fish
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These
Change the determiner
This
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 graph shows the value and sources of
fish
Use synonyms
 imported to the US in 1988, 1992 and 2000. It is clear from the graph that the value of
import
Replace the word
imported
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fish
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
has
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 increased over the
years
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
,
Canada
Use synonyms
has
Verb problem
is
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 one of the
source
Change to a plural noun
sources
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 of
fish
Use synonyms
 imported to the US and it
was
Verb problem
has
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 decreased through the
years
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.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, In 1988, the total value
import
Change preposition
of import
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 cost
about
Add a missing verb
was about
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 6.57 billion dollars.
Then
Linking Words
, the cost was improved considerably between 1992 and 2000 by 8.52 billion and 10.72 billion dollars.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the US have many sources to import
fish
Use synonyms
. In 1988
Canada
Use synonyms
has
Wrong verb form
had
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major
Correct article usage
a major
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percentge
Correct your spelling
percentage
Change preposition
of aroun
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aroun
Correct your spelling
around
 60%. After that, it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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dropped dramatically to 34% in 1992, and after 8
years
Use synonyms
Canada
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 fell by 28 per cent.
However
Linking Words
,
Chaina
Correct your spelling
China
 has lee percentage in 1988
about
Change preposition
of about
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 13% but after 4
years
Use synonyms
 it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased slightly around 20% and in 2000 the
propration
Correct your spelling
proportion
 rose by 10% more.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the other
soucres
Correct your spelling
sources
 have wave change during 1988 and 2000.
To sum up
Linking Words
, we could say that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Canada
Use synonyms
 increased gradually during the
years
Use synonyms
 but China has
revers
Correct your spelling
reversed
show examples
.
Submitted by taqwaalsakiti on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words fish, years, canada with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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