many people say that the only way to ensure a good job is to complete a course in university education. to what extend do you agree or disagree
It is widely believed that having completed university
course
is the sole way for Fix the agreement mistake
courses
employees
to get lucrative jobs . The writer of this
essay agrees with this
notion because it can provide the specialized skills and persistence of candidates.
To commence with , professional abilities are crucial when employers looking for new workers . In other words
, the employees
, especially white-collar ones , with adequate education backgrounds also
have intensive knowledge in their fields . As a result
, these potential workers will operate various important strategies that can lead their companies to success.For example
, in 2018 , in Vietnam , where 72% of firms just only recruited candidates who had good degrees, this
practice also
increased the 25% of
success rate of these companies.
Change preposition
apply
Moreover
, educational qualifications also
display whether or not employees
are hard-working . To be more specific , candidates need to encounter many challenges and difficulties if individuals long to acquire degrees in their fields . Consequently
, these employees
are able to solve their assignments in works in effective and swift ways . For instance
, the highly successful company , Apple , accepted 200.000 officers who used to graduate from Havard University , which forced students to study more than 8 hours per day.
In conclusion , degrees are crucial foundations for employees
to seek adequate jobs due to
proving professional abilities as well as
perseverance. Hence
, the single way to have a good job is by finishing university courses.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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coherence cohesion
The essay effectively presents and supports its main points, but improvement is needed in logical transitions between paragraphs to enhance readability. Consider using more cohesive devices and linking words to connect ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Despite the good content, the language used in some places could be more precise. For instance, 'It is widely believed that having completed university course is the sole way for employees to get lucrative jobs' could be refined to 'It is widely believed that completing a university course is the only way for employees to secure lucrative jobs.'
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points well.
task achievement
Good use of statistics and real-world examples to support arguments, such as the example from Vietnam and the reference to Apple and Harvard University graduates.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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