Some people feel unsafe either staying at home or going out. What are the possible reasons for this? What can be done to address this issue?
It is stated that several persons feel uneasy
while
being at their own homes or going outside. There are a few logical explanations to decipher this
issue and ways it can be tackled. This
writing will try to describe the reasons of
why Change preposition
apply
people
are scared to stay in their own houses, factors on people
why some human beings fear to go
out of their living places, and solutions to Change the verb form
going
this
problem.
There are several descriptions regarding reasons people
are scared to stay at home. For instance
, family conflicts, poverty, and depression. Staying at home can be creepy for people
who suffer from depression and have parents who argue with each other every day. Therefore
, these group
of Fix the agreement mistake
groups
people
would rather to
stay outside of their houses.
Remove the marker
apply
On the other hand
, there are also
some factors on
why Change preposition
apply
people
fear to go
out of their houses, Change the verb form
going
such
as afraid of being mugged or attacked by a criminal on the street at midnight. Other more logical reasons are pollution lurking in public areas, like air contamination and garbage smell.
There are some solutions for these problems, such
as conflict mitigation with a psychologist, bringing a salt sray
outside, and Correct your spelling
spray
stay
practicing
martial arts to protect one's self.Change the spelling
practising
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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure of your essay, ensure a clear progression of ideas and avoid abrupt transitions between paragraphs. Create a more nuanced argument rather than simply listing points.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion were present but could be more effectively crafted by capturing the essence of the essay and summarizing key points more succinctly and powerfully.
coherence cohesion
Support the main points with more substantiated detail and explanation. Incorporating concrete examples, statistics, or expert opinions can aid in making your argument more convincing and robust.
task achievement
Your response somewhat addresses the prompt, but to achieve a higher score, it is critical to cover every aspect of the task more equally and thoroughly. This includes deepening the exploration of the reasons for uneasiness at home and outside, as well as the provision of well-elaborated solutions. Furthermore, avoid repetition and ensure all parts of the question are answered with equal measure.
task achievement
Your ideas are relatively clear, but strive for a more comprehensive explanation of points. Develop each idea fully before moving onto the next. This entails not only stating a point but also explaining the 'how' and 'why' it is relevant and contributing to the overall idea.
task achievement
Try to include more relevant and specific examples to fully satisfy the task requirements. For instance, when discussing the fear of going out, identify a particular situation or statistic to ground your argument in reality.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.