IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Environmental issues have always been an international problem because governments are not imposing harsh punishments againts offenders To what extent do you agree or disagree? Support your answer with specific reasons and examples

#governments #punishments #againts #offenders #support
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Nowadays, our world faces a lot of environmental issues
such
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 as climate change, global warming, air pollution and more. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe
governments
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 are mainly responsible for these
problems
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 because they do not have any strict punishment for those who make these
problems
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.
While
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this
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 approach can be considerable, in my opinion,
governments
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 are not only responsible for environmental
problems
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, so, I strongly disagree with
this
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 idea, because, environmental disasters have many guilty and they need a global collaboration between
governments
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 and individuals. Looking from an
overall
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 view,
governments
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 are one of the main
responsible
Correct pronoun usage
ones responsible
show examples
 for solving environmental
problems
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. Despite the fact that currently there are few laws in
this
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 area, only with a slight change in laws or the creation of better ones, most of the
problems
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 can be fixed. If
governments
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 which have the ability of legislation, create strict rules for companies or individuals, solving the
problems
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 would be easier, But,
governments
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 can not oversee everyone, so, they should coordinate in
this
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 situation. On the flip side,
people
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 have a large responsibility
against
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the environment.
For instance
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,
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 generating electricity, factories burn lots of resources and they indeed produce a lot of carbon dioxide, which is the main element in air pollution and global warming. By decreasing their consumption of electricity,
people
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 may make a great step in the way of solving these
problems
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.
Additionally
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,
people
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 can be more beneficial to the environment by purchasing less environmentally harmful products, and they can buy eco-friendly products to support their earth.
To sum up
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,
governments
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 and
people
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 both have lots of responsibilities for environmental issues, and they should be more aware of these
problems
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.
For example
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,
governments
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 creating helpful laws and individuals buying eco-friendly products could be more beneficial in solving
problems
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. I believe
people
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's actions are more important than
governments
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 because their actions can be more effective.
Submitted by mehdikarimi0811 on

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sentence structure
Try to vary your sentence structure more to create a more engaging and complex argument structure. This will enhance the readability and sophistication of your essay.
cohesion
Incorporate more cohesive devices that explicitly signal the relationships between ideas, making transitions smoother and your argument more coherent.
clarity of position
Ensure your introduction explicitly states your viewpoint on the topic, making it clear from the outset where you stand on the issue.
specific examples
To further enrich your argument, include a wider range of examples from various contexts or case studies that could strengthen your points.
balanced argument
Your essay successfully provides a balanced view, acknowledging the role of both governments and individuals in tackling environmental issues.
essay structure
You have done well to structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
use of examples
You effectively use examples to support your points, making your argument more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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