The graph shows the number of visitors to a variety of art galleries in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and repo fling the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#visitors #variety #art #galleries #information #repo #features #comparisons

The chart bar depicts

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

data about the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

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of people visiting art galleries in France,

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

show examples

Correct article usage

the UK

show examples

, Korea, Spain, and Russia in 2011.

Unit

Add an article

The unit

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measured in

millions

Overall

, The Louvre (France) became the most visited by

visitors

on the other hand

, the National

Museum

of Korea, The Museo del Prado and The State Hermitage (Russia) became less popular explorer by tourists than the

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

art galleries in 2011. The Louvre in France is one of the most popular museums visited by tourists almost 9 million people, Followed by The Metropolitan

Museum

(USA)

Change preposition

with

show examples

millions

Change to singular

million

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visitors

and The British

Museum

(UK) just under six

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

visitors

in 2011.

While

, In 2011, The art gallery explored by over 3

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

visitors

is The National

Museum

of Korea.

In addition

, The Museo del Prado in Spain and The State Hermitage in Russia got fewer

visitors

with three

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

and just under 3

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

visitors

respectively.

Submitted by syah.lian.ju on Fri Nov 17 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words millions, visitors, museum with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

154 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

visitor numbers
fluctuations
peak season
off-peak season
trend
visitor demographics
attendance
special exhibition
promotional campaign
footfall
gallery capacity
cultural attraction
art enthusiasts
exhibit
statistical comparison
tourist attraction

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The graph shows the number of visitors to a variety of art galleries in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and repo fling the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some countries achieve international success by building specialized facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development

Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

it is sometimes thought that people who travel outside of their own country are more tolerant and understanding of others. To what extent do you agree?

Some people believe that modern technology is increasing gap between rich and poor. Discuss both views and your opinion.