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Band 6.5

The best way to improve health is to do regular exercise to what extent, do you agree or disagree ?

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Introduction
The best way to improve
health
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 is to
exercise
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 regularly. I completely agree that physical activity is essential for a healthy life.
However
Linking Words
, I
also
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 believe that eating healthy food plays an important role in maintaining good
health
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.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
Linking Words
, regular
exercise
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 improves both physical and mental
health
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. It gives
people
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 more energy, strengthens their bodies, and helps them feel more relaxed.
For example
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,
people
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 who spend most of their day working or studying may feel tired and stressed. Going for a walk or doing some simple exercises can help them release stress and improve their mood.
As a result
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, they may feel happier, think more clearly, and become more productive in their daily lives.
Therefore
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, regular physical activity can improve a person’s
overall
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 well-being.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
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, eating healthy food is
also
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 important for maintaining a healthy lifestyle. A balanced diet provides the body with the nutrients it needs to function properly. It can
also
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 support healthy skin and hair and help
people
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 feel more energetic.
For example
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, someone who exercises regularly but often eats fast food may not receive all the nutrients their body needs.
This
Linking Words
 can reduce the benefits of their healthy habits.
In contrast
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, combining regular
exercise
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 with a balanced diet can help
people
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 maintain better
health
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 and improve their quality of life.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I completely agree that regular
exercise
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 is an effective way to improve
health
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 because it benefits both the body and the mind.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I believe that combining physical activity with healthy eating is essential for achieving the best results.

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Task response
Your view is clear, but the main idea needs a little more care. You say that exercise is the best way, yet you also say that food is essential. Explain more clearly why exercise is still the best, or say that health needs both exercise and good food.
Task response
Give a fuller reason for why exercise may be more important than other health habits. For example, you could say that it helps the heart, weight, sleep, and stress at the same time.
Task response
Your examples are clear but quite general. Add one more real and clear case, such as a person who walks each day and eats home-made meals, to show how these habits work together.
Coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow: it has an opening, two main parts, and an ending. Keep this clear plan in future essays.
Coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with a little more care. In the last paragraph, “Nevertheless” shows a strong opposite idea, but your point about food supports your view. “At the same time” or “In addition” would fit better.
Coherence and cohesion
Make the link between the two body parts clearer. At the start of the second part, say that food is also needed, even though exercise is the main way to improve health.
Task response
You answer the question directly and give a clear view from the first paragraph.
Task response
You explain both body health and mind health, which makes your ideas wider and more useful.
Coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one clear main idea, an explanation, and an example.
Coherence and cohesion
The opening and ending match well, and the essay stays on the same subject throughout.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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