IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that going to the gym is the best way to keep fit. Others think that there are many better methods. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Is it true that people can stay healthy without going to the
gym
Use synonyms
? As a matter of fact, many a man more often than not believes that going
gym
Use synonyms
 is the symbol of fitness.
However
Linking Words
, few reckon that the alternative
methods
Use synonyms
 are much better than exercising in the
gym
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, traditional
methods
Use synonyms
 of getting healthy are more fruitful as compared to contemporary ones. The upcoming paragraphs will shed light on my point of view with certain evidence.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the predominant benefit of going
gym
Use synonyms
 is, that it provides a dedicated environment
along with
Linking Words
 professional trainers. Because it has an exercising environment, individuals feel motivated all the time and work hard to achieve their health goals by maintaining their daily routines.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey has been recently carried out by BBC in the cooperative sector of India, they revealed that 90% of companies have a
gym
Use synonyms
 in the enterprise to maintain the health of their employees. It is the best option for working individuals who can not work out in their homes.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, traditional
methods
Use synonyms
 of staying fit are not known as the permanent solution to all illnesses for no reason. Rather than spending more in gyms, people should follow intimate fasting practices. Because
this
Linking Words
 technique does not allow eating processed and packed foods it will result in the hormone balance and diabetes control. Owing to
this
Linking Words
, not only the danger of heart attack is reduced by
this
Linking Words
 but it
also
Linking Words
 improves immunity. To cite an example, Dr. Pal a resident of California has followed the ancestral practice of intimate fasting and he loses up to 70 Kg of his weight in a year.
Consequently
Linking Words
, alternative
methods
Use synonyms
 ensure the healthy lifespan of human beings.
To conclude
Linking Words
, without any doubt, it can be asserted that a
Gym
Use synonyms
 is the forever trend for those who have a busy lifestyle but the benefits of proportional eating cannot be avoided. They are even more fruitful in maintaining psychological
as well as
Linking Words
 physical health by keeping fasting techniques.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure
Ensure the structure of your essay has a clear and logical progression from introduction to conclusion. Your arguments should flow in a manner that is easy to follow, with each paragraph naturally leading to the next.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which is good. However, make sure that your introduction clearly presents the topics to be discussed, and your conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion without introducing new information.
supported main points
When supporting your main points, it is crucial to develop your arguments thoroughly. Use specific details and examples to support your opinion, and remember to explain how these points back your overall argument.
complete response
Your essay addresses the task, but you need to ensure that your response is fully developed. Care should be taken to elaborate on your points further to fulfill the requirement of a complete and rounded answer.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your main ideas are clear, but need to be developed more comprehensively. Aim to delve deeper into your points and discuss the implications and nuances to give a reader a better understanding of your perspective.
relevant specific examples
While the essay contains relevant examples, they need to be further elaborated upon. Make sure to link the examples back to the main argument and clarify how they support your position to improve the strength of your essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: