In many countries, shopping is becoming a free-time activity that replaces traditional hobbies, such as reading and sport. What are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In many countries,
people
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are spending more and more of their leisure time shopping.
This
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essay will examine why it is taking the place of more traditional pastimes and argue that, despite a few potential benefits,
this
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is predominantly a negative development. The key reasons behind the rising popularity of shopping are the increase in disposable income and changing habits. As
people
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earn more, they feel more comfortable spending on goods they may not necessarily need. Under the constant influence of social media and television,
people
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develop a desire for trendy items they see on their screens, whether it is a new laptop or an item of clothing.
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, the convenience of online shopping makes it easy to browse and order products from home, replacing traditional at-home pastimes,
such
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as baking, knitting and reading.
Although
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this
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trend may benefit the economy and offer short-term enjoyment, I firmly believe that it is predominantly harmful. The most significant drawback is that it encourages
people
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to buy more than they need, which can lead to debt and excessive waste.
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, constantly purchasing and throwing away items consumes natural resources and worsens pollution. Another concern is that
people
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who spend most of their spare time shopping may neglect healthier hobbies,
such
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as
sport
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sports
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, creative projects, or social events that support personal growth and well-being. In conclusion,
while
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shopping as a hobby is becoming increasingly common, its downsides-including overconsumption, environmental harm, and the neglect of more fulfilling activities-have far-reaching consequences. / believe that by replacing healthier hobbies with an often wasteful pursuit,
this
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trend ultimately has a negative impact on both individuals and society.

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to illustrate your points. For instance, you could mention specific statistics related to shopping habits or provide case studies that support your argument.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay is generally well-structured, ensure smooth transitions between points. Phrases like 'on the other hand' or 'furthermore' could enhance the flow between paragraphs.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines both parts of the task and previews your argument effectively. This sets a strong foundation for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion neatly summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance, which reinforces your argument effectively.

Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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