Some people think that goverment should only focus their spending on public service and they claim that spending on arts is a waste of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some
people
think that public
services
have to
onle
Correct your spelling
only
be focused on by
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
spending and they believe that spending on
arts
is a waste of money. I totally disagree with the statement because
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
are as important as public
services
.
Firstly
,
arts
are one of the most important things which can help
people
who have no outlet.
In other words
by spending on
arts
countries
can be improved if they care about
arts
because
arts
are able to change the
countries
from
no thing
Correct your spelling
nothing
show examples
to
gread
Correct your spelling
great
read
countries
.
As a result
,
governments
will have to care about
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
to get a better life.
For example
, the
USA
Correct your spelling
US
show examples
government always focuses on
their
Change the word
the
show examples
arts
because they
know
Correct subject-verb agreement
knows
show examples
that there will be no improvement
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
paying attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
.
Hance
Correct your spelling
Hence
show examples
, the USA has become one of the important
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
in the world.
Secondly
, when
governments
focus only on public
services
it will effect
nigatively
Correct your spelling
negatively
on their
people
.
That is
to say, they
sould
Correct your spelling
should
could
spend on
arts
as they do on public
services
because
arts
are
consedered
Correct your spelling
considered
as a culture and
countries
can not get better
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
intrest
Correct your spelling
interest
in
arts
.
For instance
, in most
european
Change the capitalization
European
show examples
countries
governments
focus on
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
because they are so helpful to them.
To sum up
,
while
people
may vary in their opinions,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe that paying attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
can be helpful for
countries
to
be developed
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
.
Governments
should show
people
that
arts
are substantial.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs are well-structured, with clear topic sentences and concluding sentences that summarise the main point. Using linking words and phrases is important to signal the relationship between ideas.
task achievement
It is important that each paragraph clearly relates to the central topic of the essay. While your response generally addresses the task, there could be a stronger emphasis on a balanced argument before presenting your own opinion, as well as more varied sentence structures.
lexical resource
Expand your lexical resource by utilising a wider range of vocabulary, including synonyms, to avoid unnecessary repetition. Also, try incorporating complex words and phrases relevant to the topic at hand.
grammatical range
Enhance your grammatical range by including a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentence forms. Pay close attention to verb tense consistency and subject-verb agreement.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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