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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below compares the data for the world’s large-scale and small-scale sea fishing industries.

The table below compares the data for the world’s large-scale and small-scale sea fishing industries.
The given table illustrates information on the world's large and small fishing fields in the marine fishing sector.
Overall
Linking Words
, even though minor businesses are operating on a small scale, there are more employees working in fishing boats than in major corporate
ships
Use synonyms
;
however
Linking Words
, there is a significant gap between the annual wage per labour in small-scale fishing boats and an employee from an industrial ship. The yearly wage of a small-scale fishing employee is between $200-3000
whereas
Linking Words
, the annual salary of an employee from a big ship is between $25,000-350,000.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the minor fishing trade has 120
million
Use synonyms
 employees
whereas
Linking Words
, industrial
ships
Use synonyms
 have 5
million
Use synonyms
 workers.
However
Linking Words
, the annual catches by small fishing boats do not contribute to industrial processes and the catches are utilized only for human consumption (24
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
)
while
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 yearly catches from big
ships
Use synonyms
 are utilized for both food (29
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
) and industrial processes(22
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
).
However
Linking Words
, there are no major differences in the yearly angling
tonnes
Use synonyms
 between big and small-scale businesses.
In addition
Linking Words
, the annual fossil fuel energy consumption for each ship is 65,000 gallons
whereas
Linking Words
, the oil usage for one small boat is 8500 gallons which is relatively lower than the bigger
ships
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ships, million, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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