some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each type of crime ,others however argue that the circumstances of an individual crime and the motivation to commiting it should always taken into accountwhen deciding punishment . Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #punishment #type #crime #circumstances #motivation #accountwhen

The number of animal species in danger of extinction has considerably increased over the

last

few decades.

Therefore

, it is vital that protection measures are taken before more

animals

become extinct.

This

essay will outline some benefits of protecting

animals

and suggest ways in which governments can protect them. The number of animal species in danger of extinction has considerably increased over the

last

few decades.

Therefore

, it is vital that protection measures are taken before more

animals

become extinct.

This

essay will outline some benefits of protecting

animals

and suggest ways in which governments can protect them.

Submitted by anayasinwriting on Fri Nov 17 2023

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task achievement

The essay repeats the same sentences without expanding on the ideas, which indicates a lack of development and does not fulfill the task requirement. It is essential to present a range of ideas relevant to the prompt and provide specific examples to support these ideas.

coherence cohesion

There is a lack of logical structure as the essay merely repeats the introduction without providing a body and conclusion. Coherence and cohesion can be improved by organizing content into a clear introduction, developed body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

98 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each type of crime ,others however argue that the circumstances of an individual crime and the motivation to commiting it should always taken into accountwhen deciding punishment . Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driveless vehicles outweight the disadvantages?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.