In many countries, the traditional family structure is changing, and an increasing number of children are being raised by single parents or by grandparents. Discuss the possible reasons for this trend and its potential consequences on society. Support your answer with relevant examples and evidence from your own experience or knowledge.
#countries #structure #children #parents #grandparents #trend #consequences #society #support #evidence
It is argued that in many nations, more and more
children
are raised by single parents
or by grandparents
. This
essay would argue that the main reason for this
development is that people
give more importance to themselves and women
are able to go out and look for a job.
Nowadays, individuals
thoughts have changed, they think that no one is more important than themselves. Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
People
do not want to be in a family where they are not happy or feel uncomfortable, they will prefer to have the
Correct article usage
a
divorce
even if they have a child
. While in
the past, a lot of Correct word choice
In
parents
stayed together even they
did not love each other. Correct word choice
though they
This
was because their child
was the most important person in their lives and they had to take care
of their baby
and did not want the baby
to grow up without a "complete family". For example
, before 2000, the rate of divorce
in China was really low, since having a divorce
meant a broken family, but in 2022 less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
people
got married, and divorce
rate increased Correct article usage
the divorce
around
70% compared with 2000.
Another main reason is that Change preposition
by around
women
are able to look for a job. In the past, only a small proportion of women
had a job, normally, they stayed at home cleaning, cooking, organising the house and as well as
taking care
of their children
. Nowadays, there is gender equality, Correct word choice
and both
both
men and Correct word choice
and both
women
can work. So when a couple get married and have a child
, it might be difficult for them to take care
of their baby
since they have to work. Then
, the best option is to ask baby's
Correct article usage
the baby's
grandparents
to take care
of the child
. For instance
, a large number of Chinese children
are raised up
by their Change preposition
apply
grandparents
or other family members, because their parents
are carrying out a business and do not have enough time to take care
of them.
In conclusion, nowadays many children
are raised by single parents
and grandparents
is
because Unnecessary verb
apply
people
put themselves in first
place and Add an article
the first
women
are able to work outside home
.Correct article usage
the home
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coherence cohesion
While your essay contains an introduction and a conclusion, the development of your ideas and their organisation could be significantly improved. The logical sequence is somewhat lacking, making the transition between points abrupt. Focus on establishing clearer links between ideas and using more cohesive devices to improve the flow of your text.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic, but the response needs to be more fully developed. Aim to explore the ideas in greater depth and provide a more thorough explanation of reasons and consequences. Additionally, be sure to provide relevant, specific examples to support each point made in your essay. A lack of detail and development can hinder the effect of your argument.
lexical resource
Your lexical range is acceptable, but to achieve a higher score, it is necessary to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary. Try to use a variety of words and phrases to express your ideas, and be aware of repetition. Incorporating synonyms and more complex expressions can enhance your lexical resource.
grammatical range and accuracy
While there are few grammatical errors in the essay, there is room for improvement in your grammatical range. Vary your sentence structures by including complex and compound sentences. Pay attention to verb tenses and agreement to maintain accuracy throughout your writing. Consistent and varied use of grammatical structures will contribute to a higher score.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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