IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in English and Wales between 1918 and 2011.

The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in English and Wales between 1918 and 2011.
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The chart describes the information about two types of housing in England and Wales from the years 1918 to 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, rented housing showed a downward trend,
while
Linking Words
 owned accommodation experienced an upward trend throughout the
period
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
both
Use synonyms
 properties had some fluctuations as well. In
both
Use synonyms
 countries, people who owned property had the lowest compared to the following years, which is recorded at around 25%.
However
Linking Words
, the number started to grow in the following
period
Use synonyms
, but during the 1939-1953
period
Use synonyms
 it remained at about 32% and from 1961 onward gradually increased up to almost 70%.
However
Linking Words
, in 2011 it had a slight fall of approximately 5%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, renting accommodation was at almost 80% in 1918 and became around 35%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in
both
Use synonyms
 places
this
Linking Words
 type of housing became unpopular but, in 1971 there was a tie between
both
Use synonyms
 types at almost 50%
then
Linking Words
, it slowly decreased to about 30%. Even though, it had slightly risen approximately 6%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the year.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end, however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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