Some people say that parents should place restrictions on the time their children spend watching TV and playing games and encourage them to spend this time reading books. Do you agree or disagree?

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There are individuals who believe adults should put some limitations
for
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on
show examples
their
children
to prevent them
following
Change preposition
from following
show examples
TV shows and allocating their precious time
on
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to
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video
games
. They prefer encouraging them to study.
Overally
Correct your spelling
Overall
,
supervision
Correct article usage
the supervision
show examples
role of parents
on
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in
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training their
children
in the best direction is undeniable, and I am in agreement with
this
view.
Children
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Children's
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mind is physiologically organised to play and act only
accourding
Correct your spelling
according
to the present time occurrences,
thus
they neglect their experiences of past events, and the upcoming results of their present activities.
moreover
Capitalize word
Moreover
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they can not consider the effect of
acheiving
Correct your spelling
achieving
knowledge on their future success and
life style
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lifestyle
show examples
, because they are
emotionaly
Correct your spelling
emotionally
emotional
creatures
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
show examples
reasonable ones. So it is their parent,
s
Correct your spelling
's
duty to guide them and keep them in the right way. In
fact
Add a comma
fact,
show examples
playing is essential for the
growing
Replace the word
growth
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of their brains, but it should be restricted somehow. Video
games
and TV shows may be constructive and be used as a
mean
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means
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for training , but they are usually used as
an
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apply
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entertainment.
On the other hand
, many
children
hate to read books and escape academic places
such
as libraries and schools,
although
studying is more required to nourish
children
,
s
Correct your spelling
's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
in relation to
games
and TV shows.
Therefore
adults have to find some ways to make reading
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
books amazing for pupils. In conclusion, limitations are needed to manage the activities
children
choose. Fathers and mothers should work on their
children
to educate their
children
by books,
instead
of wasting their time on video
games
and shows.
Submitted by davudznml123456 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. In your introduction, clearly state your position. Use body paragraphs to develop your arguments with clear topic sentences and supporting details, and end with a coherent conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position.
task achievement
Provide relevant examples to support your arguments. This helps illustrate your points more concretely and makes your arguments more compelling. If claiming that children are emotional rather than reasonable, for instance, provide a specific example illustrating this point.
coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, make sure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next and that ideas within paragraphs are connected with appropriate linking words and cohesive devices. Avoid abrupt transitions or unrelated ideas within the same paragraph.
task achievement
For task achievement, ensure that you fully address all aspects of the prompt. While you have provided an overall response to the given topic, a more balanced discussion and consideration of counterarguments could strengthen the argument.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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