IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below presents the number of children ever born to women aged 40-44 years in Australia for each year the information was collected since 1981.

The table below presents the number of children ever born to women aged 40-44 years in Australia for each year the information was collected since 1981.
#children #women #years #australia #year #information
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The table shows the number of
children
Use synonyms
 they have when women are aged 40-44
years
Use synonyms
 old in Australia over a
35-
Fix the agreement mistake
35-year
show examples
years
Use synonyms
 period.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is true that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Australian
families
Use synonyms
 have up to
two
Use synonyms
kids
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 having more than
two
Use synonyms
children
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is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 popular before but has decreased over the
years
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. In 1981, when women aged 40-44
years
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 old, they used to have
two
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 or more
children
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 in their home, being
two
Use synonyms
children
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 the highest percentage with 29%. Very few
families
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 have one or
none
Correct quantifier usage
no
show examples
 child, with 7.6 % and 8.5% of the total, respectively. Over the
35-
Correct your spelling
35-year
years
Use synonyms
 period, most of the
families
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 have up to 2
children
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 at their home, so we can see
a
Change the article
an
show examples
increasce
Correct your spelling
increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
children
Use synonyms
's figures during the period studied.
Families
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 with
two
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kids
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
rosen
Correct your spelling
rose
 to 38.3% in 2006,
in addition
Linking Words
 to 15.9% with
none
Correct quantifier usage
no
show examples
descedants
Correct your spelling
descendants
 and 13.2% with one child.
However
Linking Words
, people
trend
Correct your spelling
tend
show examples
 to not
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 more than
two
Use synonyms
children
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 over the
years
Use synonyms
, so the percentages have dropped down, being 21.5% with three
kids
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 and 11% with four or more
kids
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rachel131 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words children, years, families, two, kids with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fertility rate
  • demographic shift
  • age cohort
  • workforce implications
  • government policy
  • birth rate fluctuations
  • education level
  • career advancement
  • reproductive health
  • family planning
  • socio-economic factors
  • population pyramid
  • life expectancy
  • childbearing age
  • maternity leave
  • contraceptive methods
  • population growth rate
  • average family size
  • maternal health
  • census data
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