One of your friends has asked you to be a partner in a new business. Write a letter to reply to your friend's business offer. In your letter - give your opinion of your frien's business idea - tell him/her whether or not you have decided to accept the offer - and explain yor reasons for this decision.
Dear Smith,
I hope
this
letter finds you in good health and high spirits. Thank you so much for offering me a partnership in the new business
that you are going to start. It proved again how much trust you have in me. It gives me immense joy to have a friend like you.
Your plan related to the authentic Indian restaurant in Canada sounds awesome to me. I've observed that the community of Indian people has been expanding for a couple of years, and there is a lack of decent eateries that serve traditional cousins of India. I believe this
food chain will not only be helpful to the immigrants from India but also
to the individuals from various nations, as they will have a chance to have unique experiences. Of course, it will help us to generate more than enough revenue.
I think I'm ready to accept your offer, as I feel enormously positive about your proposal. Although
I'm enrolled in a full-time job at an IT firm as you know, I'll be able to spend at least four hours during weekdays and full days during weekends to support you. Also
, I'll make sure to do marketing for our new business
on popular search engines and social media platforms to attract more customers.
The main reason for accepting your proposal is definitely
that I would love to work with you. Rephrase
apply
Also
, I've been thinking for a long time about starting my own business
so that I can utilize my time more effectively, and this
business
can certainly help me with that. Moreover
, I'd be capable of buying my own car in the near future if I earn more money.
Let’s meet this
weekend to discuss more about it. This
way we can at least hang out together.
Warm regards,
SohelSubmitted by sohelghori25 on
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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the letter could be improved by organizing the content more efficiently with clear introductory, body, and closing paragraphs. The main ideas should be presented in a more systematic way to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the greeting and closing expressions are formal to match the tone of an IELTS letter. Although the level of formality is acceptable, it can be polished further in terms of the words chosen for the greeting and sign-off.
coherence cohesion
The body paragraphs would benefit from better focus on a single idea each. Try to separate the different aspects of the response into clear, distinct paragraphs to enhance readability and organization.
task achievement
You have addressed the tasks demanded by the prompt effectively by giving your opinion, stating your decision, and explaining your reasons. However, adding more depth and details to each section can ensure full task achievement.
task achievement
The writing tone of your letter is generally suitable. However, for a completely formal tone consistent with the IELTS writing task, avoid using colloquial expressions and maintain a professional language throughout.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite