Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is commonly thought that
advertisements
urge us to purchase products,
while
others think that
ads
are ubiquitous and it is needless to focus on them. From my
prospective
Correct your spelling
perspective
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advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
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can have both positive and negative results
whereas
Correct word choice
when
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considering
awareness
Correct article usage
the awareness
show examples
and preferences of consumers. On the one hand,
ads
may seduce
people
to buy items and boost their popularity.
For instance
, humans by watching
advertisements
might become familiar with the features of the goods and to extend their choice opportunities.
Consequently
, it may increase the income and profit of the advertising agency,
as well as
the satisfaction and loyalty of the customer. What is more, if adverts should be promoted it would cause an increase in the employment rate.
As a result
, the majority of companies would benefit and provide more available places for workers to earn their living.
Thus
, advertising items will broaden our choices and influence the employment proportion.
On the other hand
, the majority of
people
have a tendency to ignore
ads
as it is wildly extended nowadays. It is to be outlined that
people
due to
their hectic schedule do not pay attention to
advertisements
and do not bother themselves with them.
Moreover
, there is evidence that some individuals find them time-consuming and they prefer to watch informative programmes where they may receive knowledge and feel productiveness.
In addition
, the number of adverts is increasing dramatically since formats desire to have a thriving revenue index.
For instance
, users may feel annoyed if those commercials occur
while
they work, study or listen to music.
Hence
,
people
might feel disappointed about
ads
and consider them a waste of time. From my perspective, adverts are a necessity for a range of companies to enhance their revenues and to provide alternatives,
however
, they are ubiquitous and may irritate
people
during their routines. In conclusion, thought-provoking
advertisements
are omnipresent and businesses that learn about their audience’s behaviour, are able to conduct
such
ads
on social media that create desirable outcomes,
nevertheless
, too much of visuals may negatively impact the individual's mood.
Submitted by hrushik2006 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay exhibits a rudimentary structure, with an introduction, body, and conclusion, yet transitions between ideas can be unclear, causing interruptions in logical flow. Making use of linking phrases and clearer topic sentences could improve coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Main ideas are identified but not developed with sufficient detail or convincing arguments. Use more concrete examples and clearer explanations to better support the points mentioned in each paragraph.
Task Achievement
The response partially addresses the task, presenting a personal opinion but not fully discussing both views with equal clarity and depth. Work on a balanced exploration of both perspectives before stating your own opinion to meet task requirements fully.
Task Achievement
The ideas are relevant but lack comprehensive elaboration. It is important to more clearly express and expand upon these ideas to provide a fully developed response to the task.
Task Achievement
The use of examples is minimal and does not sufficiently illustrate the points made. Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to strengthen the argument and to satisfy the expectations of the task more fully.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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