Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some say that
publicity
is very successful at making
people
purchase products,
while
others argue that advertising is so normal that individuals do not pay attention.
This
essay would argue that
although
companies know what
people
want, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
too
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
publicity
, which makes
people
exhausted and annoyed. On the one hand, companies know what consumers are looking for.
This
is because before making any advertisement, they will
make
Verb problem
conduct
show examples
different
analysis
Fix the agreement mistake
analyses
show examples
and
researchs
Correct your spelling
research
to ensure that what they offer is what
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
want, in
this
point, the cooperation had almost
succeed
Change the verb form
succeeded
show examples
.
Then
, the only thing that they need to do, is make a creative and original announcement to catch
people
's eyes.
For instance
, nowadays many
company's
Fix the agreement mistake
companies'
show examples
advertising
look
Change the verb form
looks
show examples
like a short movie and
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
more interesting than it was before, as they might show something that has nothing to do with what they sell, but
people
are able to relate
them
Change preposition
to them
show examples
.
However
, I believe that
people
normally do not even watch an entire
advertising
Replace the word
advertisement
show examples
.
On the other hand
, there are too many advertisements in these days.
People
are able to watch
publicity
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
, applications, websites and in the street.
People
might see
almost
Rephrase
apply
show examples
hundreds of
advertising
Replace the word
advertisements
show examples
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
, and they get tired and angry
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
them.
This
is because advertising normally blocks or stops what
people
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
doing, and they need to wait for the
publicity
to end so they can continue. No one will feel good when they are stopped
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the middle of an activity or a video.
For instance
, normally there are around two advertisements at the beginning of each video
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
YouTube, and there might be more in the middle of the video.
People
do not stay watching the
publicity
,
instead
, they will take advantage and use
this
time for something else. In my opinion, there is
excessive
Add an article
an excessive
show examples
amount of
publicity
, so
people
get used to
watch
Change the verb form
watching
show examples
it and do not pay attention to
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
companies nowadays know what
people
are looking for, individuals can watch
publicity
in every place, which makes them feel angry and tired, and,
that is
why I believe that
people
nowadays do not pay attention to them.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure your introduction sets a clear framework for the discussion. It should outline the views and your opinion succinctly for better task response.
Task Achievement
Work on developing main points with more detail and clarity, enhancing the thoroughness of your response and providing a well-rounded discussion of the topic.
Task Achievement
Use more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. Doing so helps to demonstrate a complete understanding of the topic and enhances task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay close attention to the logical flow of your essay. Ensure that ideas transition smoothly from one to the next, using cohesive devices effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Avoid repetitiveness, and work on the variety of your linking words to improve the essay's coherence and cohesion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on the overall structure of the essay, including clear paragraph divisions, and a logical progression from introduction, through main body, to the conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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