Describe a place where you like to travel and give out reasons

#place #travel

Correct your spelling

I'm

Change the article

show examples

extrovert and addicted to

discover

Change the verb form

discovering

show examples

new things . the most reason is

Change the capitalization

show examples

want to expand my individual perspective to improve my knowledge.

Also

that

i'm

Change the capitalization

I'm

show examples

quite like food so

i'm

Change the capitalization

I'm

show examples

able to try

diverses

Correct your spelling

diverse

cuisine . for the

Add a comma

more,

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

would like to go with my Friends for the reason that

Change the capitalization

show examples

need

Remove the article

apply

show examples

companionship to help each

Correct your spelling

other

orther

Correct your spelling

other

when we have troubles

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

that we can share our experiences to save ourselves

Submitted by ngovhngoc on Sat Nov 18 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction & Conclusion

Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential components of a well-structured response. Aim to clearly state your main topic in the introduction and summarise your main points in the conclusion.

Idea Development

The response does not adequately develop ideas; each point should be elaborated with clear and relevant examples. Work on expanding your ideas to fully address the prompt.

Pronoun Usage

Be mindful of the usage of personal pronouns. In academic writing, they should be used properly and not excessively.

Grammar & Accuracy

The essay contains multiple grammatical errors and awkward phrases that impede understanding. Proofread your work and consult resources to improve your grammatical range and accuracy.

Coherence & Logic

The overall structure of the essay is not very clear, and the points are not well-connected. Use linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the logical flow of information.

Task Fulfillment

Your task response is weak as the essay does not thoroughly or appropriately address all parts of the task. Ensure that you cover all aspects of the prompt and provide a more complete discussion of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

76 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people belive that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue tht it is better to try and improve such situations Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is no doubt that a strong mindset plays a critical role in the development progress of human beings. Without it, humans wouldn’t be able to overcome various difficulties. Some people harbour a belief that accepting is the most effective solution while facing a depressing situation, while others hold faith that it is necessary to find approaches to optimize them. In this essay, I will discuss both pros and cons of the statement and my posture against it in the following paragraphs.
5
band
Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: Your reason for writing What you would like to happen A nice, respectful style
Hello July, I hope this letter finds you in radiant health and in the best of spirits. I am writing to express a concern over your dog Milo. Recently, my mother had brought couple of plants from California for our garden. Moreover, the palnts are rare to find in our locality. Hence, we are taking extra care of the plants. Further to this, it has been known to you that we also adore Milo like our own puppy. While I was returning home, I have found her in the garden. As soon as I noticed her, I run towards the backyard but he had already destroyed two of the palnts.
6
band
People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays people’s lives are very different from the past centuries. These changes also manifest themselves in the life quality of humankind. Personally, I am convinced that now human beings live better than earlier.
5.5
band
Some people believe that only employees who have worked at a company for a long time deserve to be promoted to a higher position. What is your opinion about this?
When working at a company the main goal is to not stay at the same position, there is need for growth and also getting a higher salary. It is debatable that to be promoted at a company one needs to be working for them for a long time. I disagree with this, because I feel that you just need the right knowledge .This essay is going to bring out my opinion on the matter.
7
band
Air traffic is increasingly leading to more noise, pollution, and airport construction. One reason for this is the growth in low-cost passenger flights, often to holiday destinations. Some people say that government should try to reduce air traffic by taxing it more heavily. Do you agree or disagree?
In recent times, the increasing number of budget flights for holiday-makers has led to the construction of airports, noise and pollution. It has been argued that raising taxes significantly on flights would be an appropriate answer to these issues. Although raised taxes would decrease the number of flights, I am of the opinion that this action would do more harm than good.

Describe a place where you like to travel and give out reasons

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people belive that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue tht it is better to try and improve such situations Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: Your reason for writing What you would like to happen A nice, respectful style

People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that only employees who have worked at a company for a long time deserve to be promoted to a higher position. What is your opinion about this?