IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #changes #house #prices #five #cities #summarise #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram below illustrates information on the average residential building pricing in five
cities
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the span between 1990 and 2002 compared to the pricing in 1989.
Overall
, it can be seen that the deviation of the two different periods of time in comparison to
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1989 showed a different pattern. The
period
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1990 to 1995 showed a negative trend of deviation in the majority of the
cities
,
while
 the 1996 to 2002 showed the opposite, where the
period
 experienced a positive trend in almost all of the
cities
. For the case of the 1990 to 1995
period
, the pricing
level
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 generally lower in comparison to how it was in 1989 for New York, Tokyo, and London with an average decline rate of around 5-7%.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
 a different result was experienced for Madrid and Frankfurt housing
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
, which showed a slight rise of approximately 2% in comparison to
1989
Correct article usage
the 1989
show examples
 pricing
level
.
On the other hand
, the 1996 to 2002
period
 experienced a surge
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
housing
Add an article
the housing
show examples
 price
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 from
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1989 in almost all of the
cities
 except Tokyo which is still lower
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a -5% rate. The most apparent and noticeable surge
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 price is
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 by London with a massive rate of 12% increase. Other
cities
 which are New York and Madrid
also
 experienced a less drastic surge on the
level
 of around 5% increase.
Lastly
, house pricing located in Frankfurt mainly stayed the same with only a deviation of approximately 1%.
Submitted by febrinhidayat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cities, period, level with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "surge" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: