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Band 5

Today many people do not know their neighbours. What are the reasons and solutions for this issues.

#people #neighbours
Nowadays, a large
individuals
Correct quantifier usage
number of individuals
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 don't have
understanding
Add an article
an understanding
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 living around their residence.
This
 essay discusses the reasons for the above and will
also
provides
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provide
show examples
solution
Add an article
a solution
the solution
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 for
this
 matter. Many civilians do not have much knowledge about their
neighbours
 because they do not have time to interact with
neighbours
due to
 their tiring work schedule which
leave
Change the verb form
leaves
show examples
 them
a
Correct article usage
apply
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little time.
For example
, a person working 14 hours a day would prioritize spending time with family;
thus
provides
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 him
an inadequate opportunities
Correct the article-noun agreement
inadequate opportunities
an inadequate opportunity
show examples
 to know the neighbourhood.
Moreover
,
people
 like to maintain privacy because of safety concerns. To illustrate, the
neighbours
 in my city don't talk much with the others in their community because of vast
media
 stories where many victims'
neighbours
 were responsible for their murder or other heinous crimes.
This
 sometimes creates fear in the minds of
people
 to open up with
neighbours
.
However
, in order to understand the locals better, the community programmes and
media
 could contribute significantly to forge a better bond
within
Change preposition
among
show examples
 the
people
 living in a neighbourhood. In my region, the residents not only celebrate famous festivals together, by gathering at a
common place
Correct your spelling
commonplace
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
exhange
Correct your spelling
exchange
 gifts and greetings.
This
 should be adopted in other societies because it offers a good platform to know about someone.
This
 public setting
also
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 a secure environment in light of
Correct article usage
the imcreasing
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imcreasing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 crime rate for those who take extreme precautions and avoid talking
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
neighbours
.
In addition
 to
this
 , it is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 responsibility of our
media
 to demonstrate the positive sides of
neighbours
 as well; not merely,
TRP based
Add a hyphen
TRP-based
show examples
 exaggeration of neighbourhood crimes. In conclusion, I believe that the development of not knowing one's neighbour is because of
busy
Add an article
a busy
the busy
show examples
 schedule and an increasing sense of insecurity.
However
, encouraging public events aimed at gathering
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 community and
proactive
Correct article usage
the proactive
show examples
 role of
media
 to inculcate security among the general populace could solve
this
 limitation.
Submitted by rohit.narad90 on

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introduction
- Use a clear introductory paragraph to set the context and outline the main points you will discuss. Ensure that your introduction directly addresses the question.
body
- Develop your body paragraphs further. Each paragraph should contain one main idea, followed by an explanation and a relevant example. Ensure these paragraphs flow logically from one to the next.
conclusion
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task achievement
- Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. This means discussing both reasons and solutions coherently as per the prompt, and providing specific examples for each.
coherence and cohesion
- Use a variety of cohesive devices accurately and appropriately, such as conjunctions, referencing and substitution, to connect your ideas and paragraphs smoothly.
coherence
- Be mindful of topic sentence clarity to guide the reader smoothly through your arguments.
language use
- To improve your score, proofread to eliminate grammatical errors and ensure the correct use of punctuation. Vary your sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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