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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say modern children's games do not develop a wide range of skills, while traditional games can be much better for developing such skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #games #range #skills
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Several people believe that, in the
last
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 decades,
children
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 have been involved in
such
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games
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 which aren'
t
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 beneficial
whereas
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, conventional
games
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 were far more efficient to improve
children
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's ability in a variety types of
skills
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.
Nevertheless
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, as opposed to
this
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 group's perspective, I completely disagree with
this
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 statement
due to
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 technology. In
this
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 essay, both traditional and modern
games
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 will be elaborated. Nowadays, with the explosion of technology,
children
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 can be entertained by different devices to play with.
To begin
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 with, the
games
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 industry has been developing day by day and game designers try to the best of their ability to create
games
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 that help enhance kid's or teenager's
skills
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.
For instance
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, concentration
skills
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 are improved by plenty of new
games
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such
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 as Lego. we witness of intense interest of kids to make creative shapes by Legos.
Moreover
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, the education system has changed positively by combining education with playing, which would be the best idea to encourage pupils to study and learn new things.
Finally
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, students in the schools are taught by some procedures that are associated with the mix of
games
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 and education to be confident persons with adequate social
skills
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.
However
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, in the past
games
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 didn'
t
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 include
games
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 sufficiently. As far as I know, the vast majority of
games
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 are related to physical health. I wouldn'
t
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 say that they weren’
t
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 enough good
although
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, in my point of view, they were limited to physical exercises and intellectual aspects were less significant.
In addition
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, kids weren'
t
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 profited by technology
therefore
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, they didn'
t
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 have decent entertainment. In conclusion, undoubtedly, both modern and traditional
games
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 have advantages for humans but new
games
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 involve mental and physical aspects in diverse topics that
children
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 have a chance to choose among them.
Submitted by kmibehnaz98 on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should set the context and clearly state your position on the topic. Each body paragraph should contain one main idea with supporting details. The conclusion should summarize your arguments without introducing new ones.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a range of linking words to connect ideas and sentences, and make sure paragraphs flow logically from one to the next. The essay should progress naturally from introduction to conclusion.
Task Achievement
Make sure your position is clear throughout the essay. Include relevant examples to support your arguments, ensuring they are specific and pertinent to the topic. Avoid overly general statements.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • motor skills
  • social interactions
  • strategic thinking
  • interpersonal skills
  • repetitive actions
  • digital interaction
  • real-world scenarios
  • educational content
  • traditional vs. modern
  • physical activity
  • screen time
  • creativity
  • intellectual challenge
  • health implications
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