research into new types of medicine and treatments are essential for improving health and deal with diseases. Who do you think should fund this research: private companies, individuals or governments?

Extensive
research
is needed to discover new medicines or therapies for a disease. For
such
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research
large amount of
resourses
Correct your spelling
resources
are required, which can only be done by a government.
This
essay will try to understand why
this
is the case. For a
large scale
Add a hyphen
large-scale
show examples
research
project, a huge sum of money and
man power
Correct your spelling
manpower
show examples
are required,
most
Correct word choice
and most
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often
this
can not be
povided
Correct your spelling
provided
by an
induvidual
Correct your spelling
individual
or a private player. Meanwhile, a government has a vast capacity to execute a complex and laborious project. Private entities will always be concerned about profit, and try to get back what they have spent on the
research
, mostly from the
underprivillaged
Correct your spelling
underprivileged
consumers.
On the other hand
, governments can work
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
a profit in their mind and provide medicines they have developed at a rebated price. It is well known that private industries often flaunt ethical rules and regulations. The chances of a government entity doing so much less.
Correct your spelling
People
Pleople
Add the punctuation
Pleople,
show examples
can trust governments to do good for them. In conclusion, it is better to entrust governments with the task of creating new treatments and medicine as they are not profit oriented,
ethical
Correct word choice
or ethical
show examples
and
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
much better
resourses
Correct your spelling
resources
.
Submitted by sreeram.warrier.venugopal on

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Logical Structure
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Introduction & Conclusion Presence
You have a thesis and a conclusion, but these could be developed further. Make sure the introduction clearly presents the topic and your position, while the conclusion should effectively summarize and close your argument.
Supported Main Points
Main points are stated but not fully developed. Each paragraph should contain one main idea with explanations, examples, or evidence to fully support it.
Complete Response
While your essay touches on the task's topic, it does not fully explore all parts of the prompt. Make sure to address all aspects of the question and develop a more nuanced argument.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Relevant & Specific Examples
Your essay lacks specific examples to support your claims. Including relevant examples and evidence strengthens your argument and demonstrates a deep understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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