You recently took a part-time job working for a local company. After a few weeks, you realised there were some problems with the job. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter explain why you took the job describe the problems that you experienced suggest what could be done about them

Dear sir, I am writing

this

to express my interest in securing a part-time job through your agency. My name is Pramod, and I am a university student where I am studying Project Management course. I have a flexible schedule because my course is online. As a management student, I am looking to get a customer-facing job.

This

will not only teach me How to deal with people but

also

equipped

Wrong verb form

equip

show examples

me with customer service experience.

Therefore

, I would be happy to work as a Cashier, Customer service representative or Sales person. I worked as a part-time salesman at a Sales company for 6 months, where I was selling kitchen appliances door to door.

Also

, I did some office work as I was managing the firm inventory records. In terms of skills, I have phenomenal communication, sales

as well as

marketing skills. Hoping that you find a suitable job for me. Yours sincerely, Pramod

Submitted by pramodv997 on Wed Oct 30 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure clarity in explaining the reason for taking the part-time job initially, rather than expressing interest in a new job.

Coherence and Cohesion

Balance the structure by aligning your paragraphs to focus on one main idea at a time.

Writing Tone

Polite and professional tone maintained throughout the letter.

Greeting and Closing

The final closing is appropriately formal and consistent with the rest of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

154 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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